The Most Boring and Phony Man in The World

I’ve been trying to put my finger on exactly why I dislike Mitt Romney for several months. Dislike might even be too strong a word. He seems like a perfectly nice robotic caricature of a rich dude with a nice coif and a socially awkward charm. I personally don’t care that he’s Mormon because, to me, all religion is creepy. But now I think I’ve figured it out. I now know what bugs me about the guy. It’s pretty simple actually. He’s an enormous phony.

Obvious, I know. I should’ve come to this conclusion a while ago. Sometimes when it comes to politics, I look past what is most evident in search of some elusive, deeper meaning. But that won’t work with Mitt. He’s just not that complex.

Mitt’s phoniness is staggering in its size, scope, and scale. I don’t think there is a single issue he wouldn’t be willing to compromise his true personal beliefs on if it meant getting elected. The truly astounding thing about his phoniness is it’s a matter of public record. It’s out there. It’s in print, on TV, on social media – it’s everywhere. Here are some of Mitt’s greatest hypocrisy hits:

On Health Care

Then – He signs RomneyCare into law in Massachusetts

Now – ObamaCare (the same thing) is EVIL!!!!!!!!!

On The Right to Choose

Then – In Massachusetts, he chased after the endorsement of Planned Parenthood like a lovesick puppy

Now – Planned Parenthood is EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On The Auto Bailout

A Few Minutes Ago – He swore he would have hung Detroit out to dry

Now – The auto bailout was his idea

On Gay Rights

Then – As a senate candidate in Massachusetts, he pledged to run to the left of Ted Kennedy. Ted Kennedy!

Now – Rainbow flags and Gay Staffers need not apply

On Stem Cell Research

Then – He was all for it.

Now – Not so much. EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shall I go on? I could. I really, really could. Maybe I should turn his phoniness into a weekly blog. Thoughts?