Laughin’ so hard, we’re ‘Akin’…

Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-Mo.) had better be thankful to whatever loony conservative deity that tells politicians such as Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) to run for the G.O.P. presidential nomination, politicians’ wives such as Anita Perry to nag their hubbies, in this case,  Gov. Rick “Goodhair” Perry, to win them that Rose Garden from that black lady growing veggies in it in D.C., and for that mescaline moonshine bottle that keeps bumbling Rep.Todd Akin (R-Mo.) in the race.

What’s the latest socialist peril Akin rails against? Why, it’s the donated surplus black-eyed pea pox of the National Student Lunch Program, providing godless subversion filled kiddie bellies for more than a half-century. Yes, you heard it right. At the Governor’s Ham Breakfast at the Missouri State Fair, Todd the Twit attacked federally assisted school lunches.  What’s Akin’s answer for hungry, poor children? Pray to Republican Jayzuz for magical Depression-era “soup stones”?

Not since the incredibly inept 2010 senatorial campaign of Tea Party darling Sharron Angle in Nevada does an embattled senator running for re-election encounter such a “Manna from mindless heaven” gimmie opponent. As famed former Las Vegas Sun political reporter and columnist Jon Ralston put it to me then: “You just can’t fix stupid.”

The national G.O.P. is still shaking their heads at Akin’s “Armchair Gynecologist” remarks on how female bodies don’t get pregnant in cases of “legitimate rape.” That ought to be reassuring news about the rape peril to convicted ex-House Whip Rep. Tom “The Hammer” DeLay (R-Tex.) sent up the river for corruption.

Akin earlier assailed the federal minimum wage. After all, who needs a federally mandated minimum wage when you live in Missouri, where Mitt Romney’s magical Mormon golden tablets reportedly said the Garden of Eden was situated. In West Virginia, a comically inept multimillionaire Senate candidate named John Raese decried the minimum wage, but he also said that “I made my money the old-fashioned way. I inherited it.” Raese’s missus and private schooled kiddies living in a Palm Beach, Fla. mansion replete with pink marble driveway also didn’t resonate well in the hardscrabble  mountains of West Virginia.

Federally insured student loans were likened by Akin to “stage 3 cancer.” If Republicans make sure fewer non-upper-crust students make it into college, can they do away with subsidized school lunches as well?

Todd Akin is another fellow chanting traveller of the privatize Medicare and Social Security conservative crowd.

After the hullabaloo over Akin’s “legitimate rape” remarks made him persona non grata in establishment Republican circles earlier this year, the embattled Missouri Republican didn’t take the proverbial loaded pistol left on the desk and “do the right thing” advice by fellow Righties, and drop out of the race.

As if there was any room left in Todd Akin’s mouth for more shoes, he gets quoted attacking Sen. McCaskill for not being as “lady-like.” Akin is married. He really ought to know better.

Akin’s multitudinous gaffes aside, polling indicates a potentially very tight race. in its’ closing weeks. Only in the “Show Me (you’re nuts) State.”