Canadian Politics: Rob Anders…the redux

Twice in one week? As the  bemused BNV nation turns its lonely eyes to me, doubtless filled with wonder how Rob Anders, the otherwise anonymous Calgary Conservative MP that gives any ‘fringe element’ a decidedly mainstream feel, warrants two Great White North dispatches in a single week. A weird manifestation of our permanent continental inferiority complex – the Canuck mouse that fears a Yank elephant rollover – is the chest-thumping pride that comes from calling out across the 49thTodd Akin, Bachmann, Newt? Big deal! We got Anders, and he’s wackier than anyone! Thrown in a spicy soupcon of “hey, there’s a train wreck, let’s watch!”, and let the Anders intellect simmer, on low. The results are delicious.

I got the transgendered vote locked up, too

Less than 48 hours after Robbie suggested that Thomas Mulcair, current leader of the federal Opposition, hastened the death of his terminally ill predecessor Jack Layton through excess personal pressure imposed during the 2011 federal election, the Fresh Prince of Calgary proved he has staying power. Just as the alleged Mulcair fratricide was roaring across the Canadian media, Anders sounded off on the horrors of transgendered males using public washrooms where there might be children. However, unlike the ‘Mulcair as killer’ blog posting, this time noble Rob put his clever musings into a national petition to ensure that all like-minded souls could jump aboard. The petition reads “…“[It] is the duty of the House of Commons to protect and safeguard our children from any exposure and harm that will come from giving a man access to women’s public washroom facilities”, amongst other gems.

Leaving aside why a rather tiny percentage of any demographic are inclined to pursue sexual reorientation surgery in the first place, if we take the Great Canadian’s advocacy to its logical (and being Rob, absurd) conclusion, there must also be laws passed – right now! – to keep lesbians out of female loos, and homosexuals out of all mens’ rooms. In fact, just pass one law that says all gay people must use the opposite gender stalls – the only sure way to keep children safe from these ticking, sex-charged pedophilic time bombs.

Our nation is constructed on the freedom to say, do and be whatever you like. Rob Anders, pursue these liberties! And to the good people of the riding of Calgary West, when you wake up, and smell something other than coffee whenever your elected representative opens his pie hole, send him to his eternal reward. They say Missouri is awfully nice any time of year.