Je me souviens (I can remember)

I can remember.

In the mountains of West Virginia, there’s a former governor named Arch Moore (R) with a Federal Bureau of Prisons inmate number for corruption, who kept trying to resurrect his revoked law license in his Geritol years by telling the state’s Supreme Court of Appeals  that he regretted being caught.

Plutocrat poster boy Mitt Romney had a group epileptic Etch-A-Sketch shaking fit aboard his campaign bus last week wanting Americans to forget his slacker “47%” remarks made during a May oh-so-Tiffany’s-tony private Wall Streeter fundraiser in Boca Raton. Romney was caught callously writing off nearly half of Americans as slackers in a secretly recorded embarrassing video which has stuck to the Republican’s campaign like Eau de Skunk. The expat New Yorker in my DNA learned that mountain folk know the futility of trying to scrub off the essence of Pepe le Pew in the tub.

The Quarter Billion Dollar Man’s  “success” tacking to the center finds that the wake of his past persists. It’s as if he thought changing the campaign song to Aaron Copland’s “Fanfare For the Common Man” would transform his fortunes. He attempted to wrap himself in the “small business job creator” stole of a Subway fast food restaurant  Franchisee of the Year.  Forget billion dollar corporate raider “creative destruction,” Mitt wants us to think he spends his evenings logging receipts into QuickBooks.

For all the CEO acumen Romney seeks to project, his campaign senior advisors aren’t helping him. In the wake of last week’s Presidential debate, ex-New Hampshire Gov. John Sununu (R) joined the off-key dissonance of dancing in the streets Righties. Sununu chimed in that the President was “lazy” and didn’t engage. Those American voters Republicans think don’t remember what they wore yesterday might just recall that Gov. Sununu had to leave a plum job in the George H.W. Bush White House under a scandalous cloud.

Akin to a morning-after hangover headache after painting the town red, Thursday’s Bureau of Labor Statistics jobs report deflated the Romney campaign’s joie de vivre. Conservatives spawned more conspiracy theories than a UFO sighting in Roswell, N.M. Even disgraced army officer and Tea Party hero Rep. Allen “Loose Cannon” West (R-Fla.) chimed in by insinuating a Chicago mafia “fix” at the Department of Labor.  Lt. Col. West ought to know something about felonious behavior. Being relieved for cause, getting fined $5,000, and retiring in a big hurry to avoid a court-martial and a stretch at Fort Leavenworth aren’t exactly career-enhancing moves.

Not to be out gaffed, the Romney campaign wants to put a multimillionaire mafia contract hit on Sesame Street’s Big Bird.  The President picked up the G.O.P. foul ball to warn off Elmo to campaign rally laughter.

This is still a race. President Obama still has a small lead in the polls, but there is still a lot of fight left in this game, as it enters its final weeks. Despite Republican governors’ attempts to pare Democratic voter rolls now falling by court review, it remains a case of getting Americans to the polls on Election Day.