Celebrate V-Day. Stop the Violence.

I love award shows. Love them. I love the red carpet, the fashion, the gossip, the shots of celebrities when they don’t know they are on TV at that exact moment. I love that even with the delays and memos about dress codes, no one is ever really sure what loose cannon celebrity is going to do the next stupid thing.

I love it all.

I love watching hot mess celebrities dig themselves deeper by hitting new depths of “mess”.

I love watching my favorite celebrities win and keep it together and deliver great speeches.

What I love most is pointing to a celebrity on TV after he or she shows respect and decorum and saying, “THAT. THAT is a great model for all the kids who watch his/her movies and/or listen to his/her music. The Hollywood crowd needs more people like THAT.”

Usually my husband shakes his head and keeps doing what he is doing…meaning not watching an award show.

Very, VERY rarely do I get completely disgusted by celebrities.

Oh they make stupid choices, for sure. They get away with way WAY more than they should.  But very rarely do I get actually angry about Hollywood.   I mean, they aren’t even real people.  They are, but mostly they don’t show us what is real.  We just see what the press wants us to see, so how can I get really invested in these people?  I can’t.

source: TMZ

source: TMZ

But there is one person…two actually, who make my blood boil.

Rihanna and Chris Brown.

Over two years ago, before the Grammy Awards, Chris Brown beat the crap out of Rihanna. This year, they appeared at the Grammy’s together, as happy and in love as ever.

This is not OK.

I know I don’t know them personally. I know I strive not to judge the choices of others. But believe me, I am judging. Both of them.

Rihanna performed her song, “Stay,” which was totally awkward. I don’t think it takes a genius to figure out she is crooning about Chris Brown.

Oh the reason I hold on
Oh cause I need this hole gone
Funny you’re the broken one but I’m the only one who needed saving
Cause when you never see the light it’s hard to know which one of us is caving

Not really sure how to feel about it.
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can’t live without you.
it takes me all the way.
I want you to stay, stay.
I want you to stay, oh.

I’m not mad at her for being uncomfortable.

But I am mad at him for laying a hand on her. I am furious that as a public figure who millions of kids look up to and want to emulate, he would make the choice to put his fists on anyone, but especially a woman.

I am deeply troubled by Rihanna’s choice to run back to him.

I see so many teenage girls who come from a cycle of domestic abuse and who fall into love too quickly at a young age, usually with the wrong guy.  They seen news stories about Chris Brown, an artist teenage boys want to be like, BEATING his girlfriend.  They can relate.  Maybe their boyfriends hit them.  Maybe their moms’ boyfriends hit them.  Maybe their dads hit them.  They get it.

Then they see Rihanna GO BACK TO HIM.

They see images like the one above of them all cuddly and kissy-face and lovey. And they think, “I can stay with him and it can work out. It can really work.”

NO IT CAN’T.

Rihanna is broken and Chris Brown is broken and their relationship cannot be one of trust and mutual respect.

When people with their kind of clout make public choices that are destructive, they send the worst possible message to girls: You can make it work with your abuser.

And the message they send to guys is: You can abuse a girl and she will stick around.

THIS IS NOT OK.

Today is Valentine’s Day. It is also V-Day, a movement stemming from Eve Ensler’s play, The Vagina Monologues, to end violence against women and girls.

I wish Rihanna knew she was worth more. I wish she could see how beautiful and talented she is…in her own right. Without hanging on to Chris Brown.