Washington Stitches

0376-150x150One has to have a sense of humor to be President of the United States. We saw with Tricky Dick Nixon how anger becomes paranoia, and “All The President’s Men” turned  into a gaggle of bumbling cat burglars out of the Marx Brothers or the Three Stooges. Has-been conservative firebrand G. Gordon Liddy probably has an understandable aversion to dining off metal trays from his inmate years.

Character assassination run by the likes of Karl Rove didn’t pass the smell test, and Vice Presidential staffer Scooter Libby found out the hard way that outing a Central Intelligence Agency clandestine service officer to get back at her retired diplomat hubby is a felony. In one of the few lighter moments of the Dubya Bush administration, Scooter  was sweating bullets wondering if Bush would get around to pardoning Libby before he was forced to  learn how not to drop the soap in Federal prison.

The White House Correspondents’ Dinner gala stopped being about journalists a long time ago, just as Washington’s Bartender Balls attracted more socially climbing barflies than bona fide professional gin slingers. It’s glitter for a city built on a swamp, to which the inhabitants adapted to, all while proclaiming to the hinterlands how they “hate” Washington.

President Obama garnered a lot of laughs at the expense of friends, foes, and himself Saturday night, indicating the sequester didn’t decimate his stable of writers. It comes with Obama not worrying about being able to run for reelection after winning the second term Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) failed to deny him of.  The President made light of his aisle-crossing charming jaunt ideas with Sens. Marco Rubio (R-Little Havana) and self-board-certified Loonytarian smirker Rand Paul (R-Ky.), with a punch line jab of attending a “book burning” with ethics embattled Tea Party doyenne Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.)  I’m sure the President feels guilty at the Congresswoman’s resulting inevitable migraine no amount of Kenyan socialist voodoo doll jabbing could relieve. All in good fun.

For the rest of us, on the White House website, there was a hilarious teaser trailer by famed director Steven Spielberg about following up his blockbuster Lincoln biopic with a feature titled “Obama,” featuring pigmentally-challenged star Daniel Day Lewis.  I’m certain Marcus Bachmann’s agent has been pestering Spielberg, pitching a bio flick script on wifey Michele, featuring the sashaying shrink in the lead role. In drag. Heaven knows, Minnesota’s premier “Pray Away the Gay” practitioner has probably spent enough time trying on the contents of the missus’ intimates and toy drawer.

Washington’s “Nerd Prom” earned a bitter “Pathetic” critique from perennial sore loser Sarah Palin, grumbling to the Twitterverse from her can’t-get-much-further-from-the-Beltway igloo in Wasilla, Seward’s Folly. For a failed politician and media has-been, Alaska is the closest we have to a post Gulag term tree-counting Siberian exile.

Sanity, even in the nation’s capital, requires a good laugh at least once a year.