McCain Gets His iPhone Wish

As a political columnist who has been guzzling the Cupertino Kool Aid in the late Steve Jobs’ “Reality Distortion Field” from the days of the original mid-80s 128k Mac, I just had to wonder.

John 'Grumpy' McCainArizona Sen. John McCain (R-Geritol) groused to Apple CEO Tim Cook at a multinational corporate tax hearing last month as to why Sen. Grumpy’s iPhone apps kept prompting to be updated. At Apple’s World Wide Developer Conference in San Francisco keynote presentation Monday, it was announced the coming iOS 7 phone software will automatically update apps. If Apple’s Mr. Cook had been a Democratic, black, and law school grad Administration official, we’d be having Congressional hearings wondering who “lied” to Congress, why Hillary’s “Find My iPhone” app allegedly didn’t work in Benghazi, or at least until House Grand Inquisitor Rep. Darrell “Grand Theft Auto” Issa (R-Calif.) received assurances that a future talking iCarAlarm would feature Issa’s voice. Alas, were Congressional Repubs responsible for cell phone designs, we’d still be schlepping old analog bag phones from the Reagan Administration that could double as transvaginal probes for the Knights of Columbus.

Meh, unlike Congress or overpaid $200,000 per year high school dropout National Security Agency contractors, Apple knows how to keep a secret when they are supposed to.

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