A Transmission from Somewhere Near Kolob

Kolob

The audio of a teleconference conducted in June between Mitt Romney and the National Federation of Independent Business, revealed this past weekend by the website “In These Times,” shows Romney asking these employers to give a not-so-thinly veiled warning of the dire consequences of an Obama victory. Not the least of which, “you’re all fired.” The “threat” part of the audio is in Romney’s closing remarks, so please don’t subject yourself to the entire half hour.… [Read more]

Living with Parkinson’s: No Longer Shall I Be Chief Spider Warrior of the House

Spider Warrior

This is why it’s always better to listen to Momma than it is to fight spiders.

I have always been the Spider Fighter in the family. Gail is deathly afraid of spiders. For me, it’s bees and wasps. Ever since I’ve known Gail, when there was a spider to be dispatched and I was around, it was my job to send the spider to his Spider Hell.… [Read more]

Did Looman Leave Trail of Fear Pee, Escaping Confrontation with Cops?

Militia idiot

Courage is an admirable trait. It’s a trait we want in our leaders. We don’t insist that they have served in the military, but if they have we expect that they at least comport themselves with a degree of honor.

Being involved in a Militia Attack on a southern courthouse then cutting and running for home when the cops show up, leaving friends behind to face the law?… [Read more]

Republican 2014 Senatorial Candidate Tells Man with Parkinson’s Disease, “Get a Life, Cripple!”

Justice

William Robert Looman, 601 Ridgeview Dr, Waco, GA 30182-3437, has thrown his hat into the ring to challenge Republican incumbent Senator Saxby Chambliss in 2014.

Listing his profession on his Facebook page as “Politician”, Looman announced:

FOR THE GREAT STATE OF GEORGIA, I WILL THROW MY HAT IN FOR THE BID FOR U. S. SENATE, AGAINST SAXBY CHAMBLISS, IN 2014.[Read more]

‘No Hiring Until Obama’s Gone’ Guy HIRES a Guy — and Obama’s Not Gone

Not hiring until Obama is gone...

Oh, and he’s running for the US Senate.

Seriously.

You may recall hearing something about this around a year ago when I worked as a writer for the woebegone Examiner.com (before I was canned for excessive truth telling that interfered with the Examiner’s conservative money-making business model), I tracked down a story about Bill Looman, a tin-plated dictator who runs the North Georgia Militia.… [Read more]

Daily Beast Writer Declares ‘Mitt Romney Won the Week!’

Jobless Numbers

HEY HEY! MITT ROMNEY WON THE WEEK!

IT’S TRUE. Says so RIGHT HERE on the Daily Beast! Mark McKinnon said so! And you know that someone who served as principal media adviser for hundreds of campaigns for candidates, companies, and causes, including George W. Bush, John McCain, Ann Richards, Charlie Wilson, Lance Armstrong, and Bono (Sonny or Cher?) would NEVER lie about something so important.… [Read more]

If Ann’s Worried, We Should Be Even MORE Worried!

Mitt Romney's Mental Health?

Whillikers! In an interview with a Las Vegas TV station on Friday, Ann Romney told the TV station that her biggest worry if Mitt wins the election is his “mental well being.”

Gulp!

Does that mean we should be worried about it, too? Have you been worried about Mitt’s mental status as of late? I know I have.… [Read more]

“Occupy Unmasked” Mostly “Occupy Unwatched”

Occupy Unmasked

Did we say “Spring 2012″ Whoops!

Well, June 5 is technically still spring, right? But then… um… Who’s to say when one season ends and another begins. This is BREITBART WORLD after all, and practical rules of physics do not apply here. Things ARE what WE say they are! So it will open in JUNE…

Yeah.… [Read more]

A Fictional Meeting to Decide Mitt’s Fate

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Hovering over the 26 miles of water separating Catalina Island from the California mainland, the Secret Koch Brothers Zeppelin is the site for a top secret meeting of the Billionaire Cabal. David and Stephen Koch play host to Sheldon Adelson, Foster Friess, Phillip Anschutz, and several other billionaires who stand to gain the world if a Republican is elected in November.… [Read more]

Horrible Old Man in Wheelchair Threatens Right Wing Scam, I Mean, Fundraising Efforts with Truthtelling – Files IC3 Complaint and 2nd Report with Dallas PD

dumbells

Update: Since certain people can’t take “Shut Yer Rotting Gob” as a hint, I have filed an Internet Cyber Crimes report and a Second Report with the Dallas Police Department against a certain individual who is using my name to raise money the same way a televangelist uses “Satan.” No more playing! ALLLLLLLL Done!… [Read more]
Meet “The Threat to All that is Good and Decent!”
His name is Bill Schmalfeldt.

Errin’ Worthing Finds Own Buttcrack. Everyone Smiles!

"Mommy!  I founded it! I founded it!"

“I had to use both o’ me hands to do it,” said noted former lawyer Erring Wortheringtonshireham Walker, “but I found me ass crack!  Aye, it was a long search, but I finally found whar the good lord split me!

There was much celebrating.  “It’s more than we ever expected of the lad,” Mayor Stran Lyinghham said.… [Read more]

The Incredibly Entertaining and Revenge-Inspiring Tale of How I Got SWATTED by a Dentally-Challenged Right Wing Idiot

Screen Shot 2012-09-02 at 12.52.52 PM

Meet Lee Stranahan.

Handsome lad.  He’s a filmmaker!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rg4ObF5TJow]

And he’s a homeowner. I know this because he’s also offering to teach people how to be big, famous bloggers, just like him!

Well, GOLLY!  Who wouldn’t want to be a big, famous BLOGGER?  So, I applied to the URL on the tweet and filled out an application. … [Read more]

Does Mitt Romney’s ‘Director of Social Media’ Tweet with His Authority?

Does Mitt Romney's social media guy speak for him about a black-white race war?

Why in God’s name is Mitt Romney‘s Social Media Director, Bill Murphy, “retweeting” racist claptrap about the “inevitable black on white race war?” And how can Romney keep him on his staff?

Bill Murphy, former associate of convicted felon and creator of the Vice and Victory Agency, Ali Akbar (click here for links to multiple stories about Akbar) retweeted this piece of hate propaganda from the Pat Dollard blog.… [Read more]

Please, Mitt! DO Take Us Back to the 50s!

The 1950s in America: Police beating a Black Man

It isn’t very often we see a single tweet and it inspires a column. Today we celebrate the wisdom of a lady calling herself @JanC60 — a self-described mother of four, a conservative from Colorado who “was asleep, but no longer.”

Here’s her tweet.

“Romney will take us back to the 50′s”. YES! PLEASE DO! Morals, values, children allowed to be innocent, decent tv & movies.… [Read more]

First, I Will Be President. Later, I Will Be God!

Mitt Romney - First I will be President, and then I will be God.

Hello. I’m Mitt Romney. I am a Temple Mormon, a High Priest, and as such I have sworn blood oaths of sacrifice, obedience and consecration to the church and the “Kingdom of God.” My perfect obedience to these laws will allow me to become a god in the next life, the literal father of the peoples of a new and different earth.… [Read more]

Want another reason Mitt may have for hiding his taxes?

The Plan of Salvation

We’ll continue our series looking at the wacky stuff Mitt Romney believes as a Mormon next week.  But first…

Here’s an interesting speculation to toss into the mix when considering the reasons Mitt Romney might not be inclined to release his tax returns.

Question: Who is the highest ranking member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in elected office today?… [Read more]

If You Could Hie to Kolob…

Joseph Smith

(FIRST IN A SERIES)

(Note: This is not meant to be a hit piece against Mitt Romney, his beliefs or anyone who believes in the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  As we recall how President Obama’s faith was thoroughly examined, scrutinized and, in many cases, lied about, we feel it’s only fair to give the reader a good look at the religion Mitt Romney claims as his own.[Read more]

Can Mitt Explain Why He Was King of Bain in 2001?

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At a news conference on Aug. 23, 2001, when Mitt Romney announced he was leaving Bain Capital (“retroactively,” according to former RNC chairman Ed Gillespie), a reporter for the Provo (Utah) Daily Herald apparently surprised Mitt with a story that hit the sports papers on the same day saying that Bain Capital was joining a group of investors looking to purchase the flailing Boston Red Sox.… [Read more]

Eddie Gillespie, that Little Rascal, Needs to Be a Better Liar!

Mash up of Ed Gillespie

If you have kids, you know they are great for making up stories to cover up for the little breaches of family law they commit.

The lamp got broked when a monster came outta the closet and bumped into it when I chased it with my baseball bat and that’s how the lamp got broked.[Read more]

Why Did Karl Rove Make Me Take Down a Zazzle Item?

designall

Hi there.  Remember last week’s story with the funny headline, “Is Karl Rove Making Naughty Gay Boinky Boinks With Skeezy Ex Con?“

Well, we still can’t argue definitively yes or no to that one.

What we CAN tell you is that Karl Rove ordered the popular personalized gift-making company, Zazzle, to remove an image I had put on t-shirts, key chains, coffee mugs, etc. … [Read more]