Hedge fund billionaire Steven A. Cohen, currently under the microscope for alleged insider trading and getting underlings to take the rap for more sleazy deals in the pursuit of mo’ money, is probably relieved that similarly named Tennessee Congressman Steve Cohen (D) draws the limelight from financier Cohen’s less savory activities for tweets about how hot fifty-something punk rocker Cyndi Lauper still is.… [Read more]
Just WHAT is going on? WTLF = What the living f**k? In this section we present those subjects that make us scratch our heads and say "Huh?". There are many serious newsworthy subjects to discuss -- but we believe that some subjects are just too ridiculous to NOT bring to light.
All who serve this nation overseas do not wear uniforms. State Department Foreign Service officer Anne Smedinghoff, 25, was one of five Americans killed by a car bomb blast in Afghanistan Saturday.
She served her nation with distinction.
Not all who give their lives are trained warriors. The four U.S. soldiers who also made the ultimate sacrifice in the attack were likely well armed.… [Read more]
A few near-miraculous events have taken place today. This April 1st is one for the history books!
The War on Women has been declared over. The men of the Republican party, joined by a few blue dog Democrats and Republican women, announced that they realised that unless they begin attending medical school in droves, any woman’s uterus is none of their business.… [Read more]
Let’s face it; the past few months have been bad for conservatives and Republicans. After a fairly good shellacking in the Presidential and Senatorial elections last November, which many pundits didn’t even see coming, Republicans have good reason to be retrospective. The recent election postmortem by the Republican National Committee underscores the sober reality that the Republican band is damaged from excessively rounding “an ideological cul-de-sac.” This has led the GOP’s to lose influence among many, including minorities, women, young adults, and the gay community (while still doing well in the “old white guy” demographic). … [Read more]
Last year was particularly hard on the fortunes of Tea Party doyenne Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) After a flop at seeking the Party of No nod for President, and Bachmann’s months of proudly proclaiming her childhood Iowa roots, voters in her 6th Congressional District in Minnesota noticed their Congresswoman was off politicking for the White House, playing Tea Party ideologue, and AWOL from her constituents. … [Read more]
It appears many of the Republican “true believers” aren’t observing Ronald Reagan’s famed Eleventh Commandment, “Thou shalt not speak ill of any fellow Republican.” Add one more to the discarded pro-choice and sensible gun control missives of the Matinee Cowboy’s purged lines.
In the spirit of “Beware the Ides of March,” there’s a tempest in the G.O.P.… [Read more]
“Those who fail to study history are doomed to repeat it.” ~ Winston Churchill
“Those who expect real history from Hollywood should have a keeper.” ~ Davies
So it was last week in our land of perpetual mirth and sunshine. The latest cultural tempest in a thimble is the Oscar success enjoyed by Ben Affleck for his film Argo.… [Read more]
In the middle of a week that can only fall under the category of our founder’s favorite phrase —sequestration, an allegedly semi-divine pontiff resigning, sinkholes in Florida, massive Winter Storms from Maine to Virginia, these still do not merit the title of “What the living f*ck!?”
It’s when the first American guest of the last holdout of Stalinesque brutality and Leader Worship is a seven-foot, cross-dressing former NBA star.… [Read more]
Freed from the bonds of the Papacy, protected by Papal Immunity, but no longer the Supreme Pontiff of the Holy Roman Catholic Church, Joe Ratzinger blows the dome off of St. Peter’s Basillica and allows you to see what’s going on inside with his BLOCKBUSTER BEST SELLER…“VICE IN THE VATICAN”
“We used to have little Friday night shows in the Sistine Chapel where a chorus line of altar boys would come in and sing Broadway show tunes!”
–Joe Ratzinger, Pope Emeritus
“VICE IN THE VATICAN”!… [Read more]
Bill Schmalfeldt was otherwise occupied this week having his foot surgically removed from the descending colon of a wingnut lawbreaker. So this week, his space is occupied by a guest columnist.
by Lester Smelgerson Public Affairs Spokesman Howard County, Maryland, Tea Party Splinter Group That Splintered from Real Tea Party Upon Learning Actual Tea Party is a Tool of the Left Being Used to Make People Hate Conservatives
Our worst nightmares are coming true.… [Read more]
The Vatican announced that Pope Benedict XVI, who will abdicate the Papacy on Feb. 28, will not move into the Blessed Sisters of the Poor Convent as first planned. (Mother Superior said his presence would be a distraction and he’s been Pope — who’s gonna tell him to put the toilet seat back down?)
So, a special habitat will be devised for the Supreme Head of the Holy Roman Catholic Church (soon to be known as Mr.… [Read more]
Hello, this is Wayne LaPierre here. Many of you have read my Stand and Fight Op-Ed in the Daily Caller this week (Happy Belated Valentine’s Day as well). I thought I’d take this time to explain to you, Borderless News and Views Readers, what we at the National Rifle Association are doing to further protect yourself and your family from our nation’s own imminent demise.… [Read more]
Los Angeles County Deputy District Attorney Patrick Frey is being sued by former Breitbart ally, Nadia Naffe. The reason? Since Naffe filed charges against Dead Andy’s favorite video-making toady, the ridiculous James O’Keefe III, alleging that O’Keefe drugged her, took her to a barn and attempted to sexually assault her, Frey (who had never met Naffe but who was friends with O’Keefe) made slandering Ms.… [Read more]
With all the talk about guns and mental health, and the post-traumatic stress syndrome of vets from Iraq and Afghanistan, what better idea could one have than to grab your neighbor and take a homecoming Marine who has psychological problems out to a gun range and put a weapon in his hands.
What could possibly go wrong?… [Read more]
No, this is not a photo of some kidnap victim taken to prove he is really still alive. This is a shot, self-taken by Lee “The Grifter” Stranahan. See, Lee talked some dumbass right wing donor into giving him money so he could travel from Dallas to Chicago, from Chicago to Pittsburgh, then from Pittsburgh to Steubenville, Ohio so Lee could be there, in person, to do…
Something.… [Read more]
by Shiloh Marie Schmalfeldt German Shepherd, Age 6
Daddy too busy write column. Shiloh write column. Daddy watch football, do podcast. Daddy nice.
Why for people not nice? Why for people mean to each other? Why need guns? Guns scare Shiloh. Guns scare Raven, too. She my big sister, border collie, 8 years old. She pretend brave, but Shiloh know better.… [Read more]
This week, the White House dashed the hopes of millions of Americans when it rejected a request for Texas to sever its ties with the U.S. Bad news for the more than 125,000 people who signed the online petition for Texas to secede. Far worse news for the rest of us!
My issue with the Lone Star state, aside from the fact that it keeps launching the careers of politicians named Bush, is that Texas is a colossal embarrassment to our country.… [Read more]
August 20, 2017 — Hurricane Bobo levels Miami. President Bachmann says, “I don’t know what they expect US to do. Last I heard Miami was in Florida. It’s Florida’s problem, not ours. If people can’t afford to rebuild their properties after a natural disaster, they should move someplace safer.”
September 21, 2017 — 10.6 Earthquake Destroys Los Angeles, San Diego, does heavy damage in San Francisco.… [Read more]
After months of frustrating negotiations, I finally came to a deal with my dogs last week that allows them to crap on the living room rug as much as they like.
It was a bipartisan deal, the product of weeks of strenuous back-and-forth.
Considering how far apart we were at the onset, frankly, I’m amazed we made the deal at all.… [Read more]
After strenuous negotiations with the lower intestines, the Body finally passed a continuing “Moist Driftwood” resolution that allowed for the continued order and function of its digestive system for one more day. Thus, the daily “Fecal Cliff” crisis has been pushed back for another 24 hours.
“It’s frustrating to have to go through this every day,” said Bill Schmalfeldt’s brain, nominal chief executive and operating officer of the Body.… [Read more]