This week, the White House dashed the hopes of millions of Americans when it rejected a request for Texas to sever its ties with the U.S. Bad news for the more than 125,000 people who signed the online petition for Texas to secede. Far worse news for the rest of us!
My issue with the Lone Star state, aside from the fact that it keeps launching the careers of politicians named Bush, is that Texas is a colossal embarrassment to our country.… [Read more]
August 20, 2017 — Hurricane Bobo levels Miami. President Bachmann says, “I don’t know what they expect US to do. Last I heard Miami was in Florida. It’s Florida’s problem, not ours. If people can’t afford to rebuild their properties after a natural disaster, they should move someplace safer.”
September 21, 2017 — 10.6 Earthquake Destroys Los Angeles, San Diego, does heavy damage in San Francisco.… [Read more]
After months of frustrating negotiations, I finally came to a deal with my dogs last week that allows them to crap on the living room rug as much as they like.
It was a bipartisan deal, the product of weeks of strenuous back-and-forth.
Considering how far apart we were at the onset, frankly, I’m amazed we made the deal at all.… [Read more]
After strenuous negotiations with the lower intestines, the Body finally passed a continuing “Moist Driftwood” resolution that allowed for the continued order and function of its digestive system for one more day. Thus, the daily “Fecal Cliff” crisis has been pushed back for another 24 hours.
“It’s frustrating to have to go through this every day,” said Bill Schmalfeldt’s brain, nominal chief executive and operating officer of the Body.… [Read more]
The Patriot Guard Riders form a shield to protect grieving families from it. The hacker group “Anonymous” targets it. And now, a new White House petition seeks to designate it as a hate group.
Westboro Baptist Church: A hate group (as previously designated by the Southern Poverty Law Center and the Anti-Defamation League) on a mission, with the tax-exempt status of a religious organization as its reward.… [Read more]
(Thus begins a new series of random thoughts we shall call “Grouchifications.” They are like pontifications, although we are not a pontiff. We are a grouch. Therefore, the name.)
1. Teacher with unruly student? Problem. Teacher having gun taken away by unruly student? Additional problem.
2. Woman overpowererd by rapist/abusive husband or boyfriend? Problem. Woman having gun wrestled away by stronger rapist/abusive husband or boyfriend?… [Read more]
A sociopath is someone whose behavior is often criminal and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience. It is a term most frequently applied to individuals, but one that can easily be used in the context of corporate misbehavior, particularly when management makes decisions based on its own needs without regard for the consequences for its workers or shareholders.… [Read more]
Simple. It has nothing to do with the color of skin. It’s nothing that simple. In fact, most right wingers don’t know WHY they are Islamophobic. They just know they “support Israel” because their leaders “support Israel” and they must do as their leaders tell them because that’s why we have leaders because they know better than we do.… [Read more]
Last Saturday, we had the honor of witnessing a milestone for our military and a victory for the LGBTQ community. Brenda Sue Fulton, a West Point graduate and her partner, Penelope Gnesin, were wed in the Cadet Chapel at West Point Military Academy, a first for the school. We can be proud to add this same-sex wedding ceremony to the growing list of victories and accomplishments for the LGBTQ community, and also to the list of improvements in the military’s views on “non-traditional” members.… [Read more]
This is the final time I should have seen Mitt Romney on my television screen….
But noooo! Election Day is over, the polls are closed, the pundits have moved on to the fiscal cliff. And Mitt Romney is coping with his loss by eating take-out turkey. Why do I know this? Because when it comes to Romney’s post-election life, mainstream media clearly drank the Kool-Aid.… [Read more]
As Jon Stewart noted, ” . . . [B]are bones competence and middle school maturity” is all that’s needed to get over this economic hump (which I will studiously refrain from calling the “fiscal cliff,” a phrase simultaneously stupid and meaningless) come January.
Big bar, there. Look who the Democrats are dealing with: Republicans, who believe ACORN (defunct now for years) stole the 2012 election for President Obama, that anti-choice laws can be passed off as “regulations,” and the UN is engaging in mind control.… [Read more]
Gosh. I’m so excited to have been part of Blogcasting history. I hope that all five listeners to Lee Stranahan‘s show this Sunday afternoon (thank God the Packers game was already over, or I would have missed it — GO PACK!)
I will give Stranny credit. He knew it was me. He took the call. I’m thinking he might have a portion of a testicle after all in that otherwise empty scrotum of his.… [Read more]
The victim had every reason to believe there was a long, successful life ahead. Seated in the car, there was no reason to worry, no way to know that death was just seconds away. When the victim was eventually taken to the morgue, there was talk that the death was not accidental. But the killer was never charged in the untimely death of someone so young, someone whose life held so much promise.… [Read more]
OK, either you’re interested in the new book by now or you’re not. What we’re interested in now at the Patriot-Ombudsman is justice. Crimes have been committed and the people who committed them need to stand before the bar to answer for their wrongdoing.… [Read more]
Here’s what we’ve established.
Things have gotten so dastardly rotten in the past, um, six days since President Obama was re-elected, that – at last count – citizens from 20 states are circulating petitions, hoping to gather 25,000 signatures in a month so they can make a formal request to the White House to secede from the U.S. In just three days, Texas’ petition grew to 27,000 signatures (which simply tells us that there are at least 27,000 whack-a-doodles in Texas), enough for a formal response from the White House, should the President chooses to issue one – although, as I think about it, it must really suck, having to get permission from their nemesis, President Obama, in order to leave the U.S.… [Read more]
Can you hear the sound? Sort of like the cicadas of late summer, but human? A low, keening whine? I’ve identified it. It’s the right wing of the American political spectrum. They’re misunderstanding why President Barack Obama won a second term.
Let’s look at one well-known right wing pundit and his take on why that happened.… [Read more]
Applying the same journalistic standards as the Daily Caller and the Washington Times in their reporting of the Robert Menendez story yesterday morning, we at the Patriot-Ombudsman can now reveal the shocking truth that will certainly bring Mitt Romney’s campaign to the screeching halt it has already seemed to have screeched to.
Two Ohio Irish Setters from the Toledo, Ohio area, claim that Mitt Romney took them from their yards, forced them into doggie carriers, had his five sons tie them to the top of the campaign bus and drive up and down the Ohio Turnpike until they soiled themselves in fear.… [Read more]
Do you remember this man? No? Well, he’s back anyway. And this time he’s showing us his inner, um, outer Mitt Romney. For those who don’t remember, “Joe Isuzu was a fictional spokesman used in a series of television advertisements for Isuzu cars and trucks. Joe Isuzu was a pathological liar who made outrageous and overinflated claims…” Sounds very familiar.… [Read more]
Hunkered down in my apartment in Virginia Beach, VA, I’ve been running circles from the windows to the TV to the computer, obsessing on Hurricane Sandy since 3:45 Monday morning. I noticed something unusual—little to no political ads. Not much in the way of campaign propaganda whatsoever. Was I simply sleep deprived, or was something unusual going on?… [Read more]
Here on the East Coast of the United States, we wait with anxiety and dread the horror that will clog our sewers and storm drains with our dead. They call it “Frankenstorm.” We’ll probably lose power. There will likely be lives lost. Millions, if not billions in property damage. Thank goodness the pundits are focusing on the most important impact this storm may have on the lives of people from Virginia to New Hampshire.… [Read more]
