The House G.O.P.’s Monty Pythonian Strategy: “Run Away!”

boehnertears

In a Friday morning of “press conferences” (sans press questions), House Speaker John Boehner shot himself in the foot. Bullseye!

As for the inept amateur standup comedy act called John Boehner, he appeared to try to explain why his inadequate “Plan B[umbling]” flopped in his own caucus. Our Cat Herder from Cincinnati narrowly survived being made to walk the plank Thursday night after failing to sell his scheme to unruly, tea drunk, über-conservative Republican cast members of Mutiny on the Top 1% Bounty. … [Read more]

The continuing lunacy of blind GOP gun love.

schoolXing

“I don’t know of anyone who needs a 30-round magazine to go hunting.” - Sen. Joe Manchin (D-W.Va.)

I do. Remember Sarah Palin’s inept caribou hunt on cable TV? I’m certain that if “Mama Grizzly” was being charged by a real, live, furry, upscale Sub-Zero megabuck gourmet refrigerator-sized bear, Snowbilly Grifter Palin would be more preoccupied soaking her Tena Twist embarrassing leak panty liner than playing a crossdressing Rambo with her Bushmaster 5.56mm Accessorizing Barbie assault rifle. … [Read more]

Call It What It Is: “Right to Work Against Your Own Interests”

ap_right_to_work_jef_121213_wmain

ABC OTUS News

As a writer I love words and language. I like the force of words, how they echo in the mind long after they’ve registered. I never take for granted how powerful words can be, so when people pervert language to delude and mislead, I know stupid things can happen.

There is one long trail of stupid running behind Republican pollster Frank Luntz, aptly described as the godfather of the conservative spin machine.… [Read more]

Final bit of Schadenfreude: Am I Blue?

Am I Blue?

John Boehner is no longer orange but is now oh, so blue. As you probably know, Mr. Boehner is the Speaker of the United States House of Representatives, and the legislative body he leads is the only one empowered by The Constitution to initiate bills to raise revenue. Mr. Boehner is blue because his fervent hope that President Obama would have been defeated in his bid for a second term has been dashed.… [Read more]

Even More Schadenfreude: Karl Rove Going Down for the Third Time

Karl Rove is Still Rich, but He's Going Down for the Third Time.

Political strategists come and go like football coaches, sliding into obscurity when their team loses, but this guy? Karl Rove? He’s been doing this since the 1970s! In all that time, he’s invented more dirty tricks than Nixon! Hell — he practically coined the phrase, “that’s our story and we’re sticking to it.”… [Read more]

Post-Election Fallout: The Night of the Long Knives, Part Deux

Romney Concession

“This evil organization will not tolerate failure!”  ~ Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery

As a political columnist, I perversely relish morning-after losing side recriminations. As the old ABC Wide World of Sports intro script went: “And the agony of defeat,” whilst showing a clip of why sane people don’t generally tend to take up ski jumping.… [Read more]

Playing For Keeps: How the GOP Voting Endgame Seeks to Ensure Tilted Elections

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By now, anyone who followed the elections heard that there were statistically insignificant occurrences of voter fraud (in terms of those casting their vote) to the point that the justification for creating laws surrounding that issue is entirely baseless. It has been reported here and elsewhere that vote tampering by way of tests, ID checks, gerrymandering, and the like is not a new phenomenon.… [Read more]

Ann Coulter’s Legacy

Ann Coulter's Legacy.

We are tempted to say that Ann Coulter‘s legacy is her unflinching support of bigotry.

After Ms. Coulter tweeted that President Obama is a “retard,” Barbara decided to draw a Coulter cartoon and asked our facebook friends for a suggestion. One of them, to whom this Art-itorial is dedicated, replied, “You could draw a [steaming] pile of crap and put long blonde hair on it,” and the result is what you see above.… [Read more]

Avenue of the Plutocrats

Avenue of the Plutocrats.

In case you didn’t know, Plutocracy is a word coined in the seventeenth century to describe oligarchic rule by the wealthy and is a combination of the Greek words “ploutos” (πλοῦτος), meaning “wealth” and “kratos” (κράτος), meaning “domination”.… [Read more]

Romney’s Trickle Down Economics Plan Is Bound To Fail

Trickle Down Doesn't Work

As the Presidential election draws ever closer, talk concerning how to deal with the economy has intensified. Last week’s 2nd Presidential Debate gave voters the clearest distinction yet between President Obama’s pragmatic plan for economic growth and GOP candidate Mitt Romney’s preposterous ‘vision’ embracing Reagan’s failed trickle down economics.

Political observers on the left rightly point out that President Obama still has a great deal of work to do to remedy the mess the created by 8 years of George W.… [Read more]

Tagg Romney — Bloodthirsty.

Tagg Romney — Bloodthirsty.

We’ve all read that Taggart Romney, whilst being interviewed on the radio, quipped that he’d like to take a swing at President Obama for claiming that his father, Mitt, lied when he, um, lied.

And we all know that Tagg will probably never get the chance, what with the Secret Service and all. But there is something he can do to throw a figurative punch — he could simply buy an electronic voting machine company and rig the vote in his father’s favor.… [Read more]

Did Looman Leave Trail of Fear Pee, Escaping Confrontation with Cops?

Militia idiot

Courage is an admirable trait. It’s a trait we want in our leaders. We don’t insist that they have served in the military, but if they have we expect that they at least comport themselves with a degree of honor.

Being involved in a Militia Attack on a southern courthouse then cutting and running for home when the cops show up, leaving friends behind to face the law?… [Read more]

Tennessee Representative Desjarlais Channels His ‘Inner Gingrich’

DesJarlais US House of Representatives

“Doctor, doctor, glad I’m not sick.”

~ Bob Hope cameo,Spies Like Us, 1985

“Schlotkin! Go work on your putz.”

~ Rick Moranis, Mel Brooks’ Spaceballs, 1987

In a state better served by the produce of Lynchburg, Tennessee, (“Jack Daniels Old No. 7 Brand Tennessee Sour Mash Whiskey. Same as our fathers made it.”), than by their Members of Congress, we have another skirt-chasing foible folly fit for a Saturday Night Live Newt Gingrich skit.… [Read more]

I’m Voting Republican Because…

Friends don't let friends vote Republican.

Get real. We can’t even say that with a straight face.

Our pick of the week video sums up how many of us feel about why voting for the GOP is not an option.

#Backwards…… [Read more]

Lazy

John Sununu

Yesterday on national TV, Mitt Romney surrogate, John Sununu, called the President of the United States, ‘not so smart, incompetent and lazy‘. This is not the first time Sununu has used racially charged words to describe Barack Obama, and this is not the first time a Romney surrogate has described the President using a racial euphemism.… [Read more]

Panic in Bachmannland

Michele Bachmann

Rarely do days go by without some controversial and embarrassing gaffe from Tea Party darling and failed Presidential hopeful Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.). In her last two wins, she and her network of ultra-conservatives probably thought once near certain polling numbers meant she had the latitude to even run for the G.O.P.’s 2012 Presidential nominee with her congressional duties safely on autopilot.… [Read more]

I’m Melting!

I'm Melting!

We’ve all heard that Mitt Romney pronounced at a closed fundraiser that he’s not interested in campaigning to the supposed 47% of Americans who don’t pay income tax and/or are to some extent dependent upon government.  Never mind that he was quoting the number for 2010. Of course, these families still pay taxes a-plenty, including state income tax and various local and sales taxes –generally the largest portion of their tax burden and among the most regressive of all taxes.… [Read more]

Romney’s Chronic Electile Dysfunction

Romney Etch a Sketch

With 46 days left until Election Day, I don’t know who’s flying the wobbly Romney campaign mothership, but they might just be the ones with a scarf bearing a Rising Sun tied over their forehead.

Former Hawaii Gov. Linda Lingle (R) is running for one of the Aloha State’s Senate seats. Lingle was among the panicking Republicans who have hurriedly left Mittens’ latest in the loo, next to the Ty-D-Bol.… [Read more]

Mitt’s Kamikaze Flight School

Mitt Romney

If I were a G.O.P. professional political operative, I would be chugging the Jack Daniels’ bottle in perfect John Belushi ‘Animal House’ Bluto frat form. Political science textbooks will be written with ‘Romney’ becoming synonymous with ‘bumbling campaign skills’ in the same way as ‘Quisling’ became interchangeable with ‘traitor’ in Oslo.

Gordon Gekko meets Thurston Howell III in magic underwear.… [Read more]

Prove You’re Not a Unicorn, Mitt.

Prove You're Not a Unicorn, Mitt.

We don’t know how it started, or why, but millions, if not gazillions, of people daily are using Google, Bing, Webcrawler, AltaVista and Ask to search for “Mitt Romney is a Unicorn.”… [Read more]