In Books: “Lost in Bachmannistan”

E-Book Review: Bachmannistan: Behind the Lines by Peter Waldron and John Gilmore, Amazon, 2013.

If Star Wars director George Lucas made this part of the Jedi vs Empire serial, it might be called Star Wars VIII: The Teavangelicals Strike Back. Finally, an out of this world comedy without Mel Brooks.… [Read more]

Don’t Worry Your Pretty Little Head, Dear…

After last week’s mourn-a-thon following Tea Party doyenne Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) wee hours video bailing on the 2014 election follies, we Fifth Estate scribblers, along with cartoonists and late night comedy writers, wondered who we would have fun harpooning and lampooning next. It would be hard to beat the legendary lesbo-phobe Minnesota gadfly, who conveniently was on a Congressional junket to Russia The Cold War is long over, but a nostalgic visit to the cellars of the Lubyanka could serve as a fitting conservative martyrdom finale for our nutter femme fatale.… [Read more]

In Memoriam: Michele Bachmann’s Career (2001-2013)

It’s sinking in…This past Wednesday, May 29, 2013, somewhere around 3:00am, Michele Bachmann’s Political Career went home to be with its Lord, the Fox News Republican Strategy Desk; its life cut tragically short at 13 years old.

Of all the things we shall miss the most, it will be the crazy eyes…

Bachmann’s Career was born to humble beginnings  January 3, 2001 in the Minnesota Senate, when an upstart lawyer, Christian “counselor,” and Swiss National Michele Bachmann decided that rather than attempting to condemn one homosexual act at a time, she could just create a state amendment condemning the whole lot.… [Read more]

Ask Mrs Vera: How will we survive without Michele Bachmann in Congress?

Dear Mrs. Vera,

How will we ever do without Michele Bachmann in Congress? Does her time there really need to end? Fondest regards…  and PS: you are my favorite Autumn! I can totally see you in this pale persimmon silk blouse with cream-colored Peter Pan collar under a pale, not too minty green/nut-brown pin-striped pencil skirt business suit ensemble, and I’m thinking: Jimmy Choos for you, I am!… [Read more]

Dude? Now? Dem seeking to capture Bachmann’s seat drops out of race

OK, sure, it makes sense. It is a rather red area. Is that what he was thinking?

Jim Graves, who lost by a thin margin to Minnesota US Rep. Michele Bachmann last year, sent a note to supporters informing that he suspended his campaign today. He noted that he was successful in his goal to oust Bachmann from Congress, just two days after she announced she wouldn’t seek re-election.… [Read more]

Bye, Bye Bachmann

Sometimes insomnia is a bane for political columnists. At other times, though, it’s a blessing. Of course, not being Rush Limbaugh or Glenn Beck, I did have to carefully check to see if breaking wee hours news that Tea Party doyenne Rep. Michele “Fact-Free Diet” Bachmann (R-Minn.)’s local video announcement that she would not be seeking a fifth term in Congress did not have a byline from The Onion, Daily Currant, or a late night comedy writer.… [Read more]

Flogging the Taxman Redux

Congressional Republicans are trying to keep alleged White House “scandals” simmering well past al dente doneness. As facts unfold, it’s more like vainly trying to keep a wave upon the sandy beach.

Let’s remember last year’s GOP presidential primaries. Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) made a seemingly intoxicated tirade about a tax return the size of a postcard.… [Read more]

#DoYourJobGOP!

The rhetoric that is coming out of Washington DC is so loud that the Republicans in House of Representatives and Senate cannot hear the American people. It seems there is nothing more important than stopping President Barack Obama from accomplishing anything. This, of course, comes at a time in American history when ideology is more important than jobs, unnecessary gun deaths and poverty, all of which affect the American economy.… [Read more]

I.R.S.: Just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.

The taxman is the Rodney “No Respect” Dangerfield of government employees. The latest hubbub over alleged Internal Revenue Service “targeting” of government-critical conservative groups is the latest ‘Tempest in a Teapot’ only Congressional Republicans could wail about. You’d think the President dug up ole Geo. Washington’s sacred bones and used them for White House Halloween decorations.… [Read more]

Benghazi Buffoonery

The continuing Benghazi debacle on Capitol Hill has all the marks of a Cecil B. DeMille Hollywood blockbuster. Starring the Marx Brothers.

“Impeachment,” hinted Sen. James “Lousy Okie Pilot” Inhofe (R-Okla.) as he made another pass at Runway ‘X’ and as construction workers scurried to safety. Inhofe is still mad at the Federal Aviation Administration for questioning his airmanship skills.… [Read more]

Washington Stitches

One has to have a sense of humor to be President of the United States. We saw with Tricky Dick Nixon how anger becomes paranoia, and “All The President’s Men” turned  into a gaggle of bumbling cat burglars out of the Marx Brothers or the Three Stooges. Has-been conservative firebrand G. Gordon Liddy probably has an understandable aversion to dining off metal trays from his inmate years.… [Read more]

Intelligence and the Pursuit of Justice

In the aftermath of the recent Boston Marathon bombing, Republicans now complain  why we “ignored” warnings from Russian intelligence about the alleged culprits. How times change. Just as the Reagan Administration cozied up with the Taliban as “freedom fighters” as long as they were killing Russians, offshoots such as al Queda went from “partisans” to pariahs when the sponsored attack dogs started biting the hands that fed them.… [Read more]

Return of the Joker Jedi: The Bachmann Chronicles

Last year was particularly hard on the fortunes of Tea Party doyenne Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.)  After a flop at seeking the Party of No nod for President, and Bachmann’s months of proudly proclaiming her childhood Iowa roots, voters in her 6th Congressional District in Minnesota noticed their Congresswoman was off politicking for the White House, playing Tea Party ideologue, and AWOL from her constituents. … [Read more]

Wrapping up Another Week With More Congressional Madness

There’s no such thing as a bad time for reflection. Taking a look back at the activities of the first week of this new year should enable us to see what went wrong, what we’re up against and, hopefully, what can be done differently in the future.

The 113th Congress — the most diverse ever — was sworn in this past Thursday.… [Read more]

Michele Bachmann, “She’s Baaaaaaacck!”

After squeaking out what she thought was a cake walk to reelection in November, Tea Party doyenne Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) reminded us the obstructionist 112th Congress is not dead and buried. This columnist does have a gaffe search list for daily use, with Bachmann near the top, but our Michele has been uncharacteristically quiet of late.… [Read more]

Adios, 2012. We’ll Still Have Congress.

“We’ll always have Paris.” – Humphrey Bogart, Casablanca, 1942

It’s New Year’s Day, and we all noted that Congress managed to do nothing on New Year’s Eve. At least they are being consistent.  What’s the objective? Single-digit public approval? As in a beach  limbo, “How low can you go?”

There’s a standing tradition for columnists to record, and often lampoon, a “year in review” piece.… [Read more]

Louie, Louie, oh, no…The Stellar Legislative Career of Louie Gohmert

Just as the 1978 film, National Lampoon’s Animal House had the fun-loving Delta frat give the 1955 Richard Berry hit a new lease on chart life at a Toga party, loony Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Tex.) again plays the fool. On the taxpayers’ dime. Despite Election Day losses, old Right-wing fantasies keep popping back up. Modern-day  political fisherman’s tales just involve ever-larger fanciful fish.… [Read more]

Shed those holiday dinner pounds: ‘Inauguration Lite’ Suggested for the POTUS

There are perfectly logical topics which simply bring out my “inner wiseguy.” It was a long campaign. In his entirely sensible piece on NPR bringing up whether, as it is a reelection and we have this sizable umpteen-trillion dollar deficit, Linton Weeks wrote, perhaps we could trim some of the pomp and circumstance from a usual American Presidential inauguration.… [Read more]

Politisk Komedie (Norsk: Political Comedy)

How, pray tell, did we ever survive America’s endless campaigns without comedy?  Even those Michele Bachmann jokes didn’t make themselves up all on their own. Do we have to make it an Olympic sport?In 1968, The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour  got the first broadcast chuckles started with “Pat Paulsen for President.” I can remember, and have the AARP card to prove it.… [Read more]

Congressional InsaniTea

“She blinded me with science.”

-Thomas Dolby, 1982

As MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow has often remarked, House Speaker John Boehner (R-Oh.) isn’t good at his job. Dozens of new Tea Party acolytes from November 2010 do make the G.O.P. House of Representatives’ raucus Republican Big Top an unruly menagerie to try and ring-master. I imagine Boehner still uneasily wonders when Majority Leader Eric Cantor will pull out the steely caucus knives for a weepy “Et tu, Brutus” coup.… [Read more]