Ask Mrs. Vera: Will The New Pope Stick to His Vow of Poverty?

Dear Mrs. Vera,

A bunch of us nuns were chewing the fat on a Tuesday recently and taking bets on who could give up what and, well, things got a little heated and things were said by some sisters to other sisters (honestly, I can’t even tell us apart anymore), but, anyway, a lot of rosaries were thrown in spirited emphasis, and that yielded up some bruised feelings as well as a bunch of crucifix-shaped forehead dents, so anyway, anyway, we did a convent huddle and decided that we would abide by whatever advice you give us to keep the peace.… [Read more]

Benedict Spills His Guts in New Tell-All Bio Book

Freed from the bonds of the Papacy, protected by Papal Immunity, but no longer the Supreme Pontiff of the Holy Roman Catholic Church, Joe Ratzinger blows the dome off of St. Peter’s Basillica and allows you to see what’s going on inside with his BLOCKBUSTER BEST SELLER…

“VICE IN THE VATICAN”

“We used to have little Friday night shows in the Sistine Chapel where a chorus line of altar boys would come in and sing Broadway show tunes!”

–Joe Ratzinger, Pope Emeritus

“VICE IN THE VATICAN”![Read more]

Giving up the Popedom for Lent

Every day, it seems, there’s a new story or rumor of an imminent scandal involving the decision of Pope Benedict XVI to resign as of this Thursday.… [Read more]

Planning Underway for Retiring Pope’s New Residence

The Vatican announced that Pope Benedict XVI, who will abdicate the Papacy on Feb. 28, will not move into the Blessed Sisters of the Poor Convent as first planned. (Mother Superior said his presence would be a distraction and he’s been Pope — who’s gonna tell him to put the toilet seat back down?)

So, a special habitat will be devised for the Supreme Head of the Holy Roman Catholic Church (soon to be known as Mr.… [Read more]

Dear Mrs. Vera: Why is Pope Benedict XVI resigning?

Dear Mrs. Vera,

What do you think is the REAL reason that Pope Benedict XVI is resigning?

Sister Mary Margaret McFeely Convent Station, New Jersey

Dear Sister Mary Margaret McMana Banana Fofanna FEE Fi Fo Fana McFeely,… [Read more]

Mea Maxima Culpa: Goodbye, Il Papa

Waking up Monday morning, having enjoyed a beautiful breakfast with my lovely wife, Erica, I retired to the office to get caught up on my second morning ritual: social media stalking. As I browsed my newsfeed on Facebook, reading status updates from both liberal and conservative friends alike, I came across a shocking piece of news from my friend, Amanda:

“They say Pope is resigning…is that even allowed?”

Needless to say those words woke me up faster than any caffeinated beverage ever would!… [Read more]

Holy Hashtag!

Well, what do you know!  Pope Benedict XVI has an iPad and, as of four days ago, a Twitter account, @pontifex. In fact, he has seven Twitter accounts, all in different languages, and he already has 1,895,386 followers.

So, what does @pontifex tweet about? Just what you’d expect. There’s nothing controversial, there isn’t likely to be anything controversial and the tweets come in pairs — the first being a question and the next answering that question.… [Read more]