Miracles and Wonders Like What You Never Saw! Part II

In today’s Encyclical, the Holy Uncle shares Part II of some of the miracles and wonders that survive the rewriting of Sacred Scripture in the new Tea Party Version (TPV) of the Bible.


Well hello there, my children. Thank you, again, for dialing up the pope, or whatever you call it on this Internet thing.… [Read more]

Pimpin’ In the Name of God

Math and Science have always been two subjects Jewish parents place an emphasis in excellence, however it seems we’re going to have to add Torah. Usually considered to be one of those subjects where you’re not all that troubled if your child doesn’t excel, it’s somewhat akin to P.E. or an elective. But apparently, these days a Rabbinical career can prove to be quite rewarding.… [Read more]

Shabbat Shalom

And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.  And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it, because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made.  – Genesis 2:2

The Shabbat (sabbath) is something all religious Jews strictly observe.… [Read more]

And the Lord Sayeth, ‘Your Health? Your Problem!’

In his fourth encyclical, Pope William I, spiritual head of the Church of Self Actualization, discusses the importance of “Christian Charity” and “Doing Unto Others” as long as there is a “Buck to be Made.”


Pope William I Reminds the Faithful, “Charity Begins with Me!”

This week, the Holy Uncle, Pope William I, cracks the spine of the newly revealed Word of God as handed to him by an Angel from Heaven.  He begins with a discussion of “Christian Charity in these Tea Party Times.… [Read more]

In Defense of Reason Part 4: Sticks and Stones and Concentration Camps

On May 13, 2012 in North Carolina‘s Providence Road Baptist Church, Pastor Charles L. Worley publicly advocated the forced relocation, imprisonment, and subsequent death of gays and lesbians. Apparently not only does pastor Worley believe that a 100-mile-long electrified fence would be adequate to hold the entire gay population, but also that such an act of Christian charity would cause the species known as homo queer-ius to become extinct, due to the hereditary nature of sexual preferences.… [Read more]

The Holy Uncle Asks (and answers) ‘What ARE Republicans Good At?’

Last week, Pope William I, the Supreme Pontiff of the Church of Self Actualization revealed how he came to possess the sacred text that shows you CAN be a Tea Party Member and STILL call yourself Christian.  In his last encyclical, The Holy Uncle outlined the problem as he sees it.  This week, he begins to share…THE SOLUTION!!![Read more]

Charles Worley: Never Again

North Carolina‘s “Reverend” Charles Worley is the horse’s arse who wants to confine homesexual human beings in concentration camps — behind electric fences, with food air-dropped so that, over time gays will “die out because they can’t reproduce.” Ah…you men of the cloth!

We suppose he thinks that is what Jesus would want us to do…

[Read more]

REVEALED! The Church of Self Actualization

(Bill Schmalfeldt once again yields his regular space, as he plans to do on a weekly basis, to his spiritual mentor, Pope William I, the Earthly Vicar of “The Big Guy Upstairs” and Founder of the Church of Self-Actualization.  In this encyclical [that’s what he calls his posts… “encyclicals”] the Holy Uncle describes the revelation of the One True Religion.)… [Read more]

God, Inc.

It’s funny; all we’re hearing from the wingnuts lately is about the War on Religion. It used to be confined to Christmastime, this war; every year, rightwing bloviators like Bill O’Reilly could be reliably counted on to make wishing someone “Merry Christmas” the upfront and blatantly hostile equivalent of “make my day.”

The war started early this year, with the right’s latest bugaboo:  birth control.… [Read more]

It’s A Wrap – Week in Review, April 15, 2011

Don’t you find yourself wanting to drift away at times? You know…just take a break and let your thoughts float away like a cool ocean breeze? I do! Like many of you, I don’t get to relax, enjoy nature and have ‘do nothing’ time as much as I’d like. Life gets in the way; responsibilities must be managed, chores must be completed and (paid) work must be done in order to repay debt obligations.  … [Read more]

“Atheist” Is Not a 4-Letter Word

It all started with one of those Facebook “share” posts. My husband shared a picture that I’d shared from someone, like an international game of Telephone. Daniel Radcliffe is staring into the camera with the caption, “I’m not religious. I’m an atheist and a militant atheist when religion starts impacting on legislation.” One of his old school friends replied, “Religion shouldn’t impact legislation.… [Read more]

Easter Sunday 2012

There we were Easter Sunday morning, birds were awakening, the sun rose and Christians all over the world were celebrating the resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth, Son of God. The faith of over one billion people hinges on this one premise. Priest, Ministers and Pastors all over the world lead their flocks through ritualistic ceremonies reenacting the rising from the dead of Jesus of Nazareth, as the risen Son of God.… [Read more]

It’s A Wrap – Week in Review, April 8, 2012

Did we end this week the same way we started? Conservative magazine, The National Review, just fired one of its writers. Why? Because the writer, a self-described ‘tolerant racist’, posted an article to white parents that relays the advice he gave his own children about the hazards of being in close proximity to black people.… [Read more]

Reason FTW

An interesting thing happened in Utah over the last few weeks. The general populace overcame their religious stranglehold, engaged in productive political activism and forced a rational and logical outcome. It was truly a sight to behold.

80% of the Utah’s state legislators are Mormon, and as a result wear the self-appointed titles of “Purveyors of All Things Moral.” They mostly run uncontested in their districts (meaning they don’t often have to fight off challengers in their own party; running as a Republican in Utah against a Democrat basically means “uncontested”).… [Read more]

Believe It or Not

“You see, the world’s falling apart at the rifts, And surprisingly, the leaders can’t make any sense of it We mean nothing to the world, we’re all someone else’s fool, But oh, what can you do?”

-Bad Religion, “What Can You Do?”


Last Saturday, I stopped by the National Mall to attend the Reason Rally.… [Read more]

A Christian AND A Liberal?

The saying in my small town is that there is a church on every corner.  And really, it’s not far from the truth.  We are a small community and have about 20 churches in our small city and township limits — most of them being Christian Reformed Churches.

Not surprisingly, we also have a lot of Republicans.… [Read more]

I Don’t Think I’m A Slut

Randy: … and a pink Trans Am in the driveway, and some incredibly gorgeous guy that you meet like in France, and you do it on a cloud without getting pregnant or herpes.

Samantha: I don’t need the cloud.

Randy: Just a pink Trans Am and a guy?

Samantha: A black one.

Randy: A black guy?[Read more]

Instant Karma

The inimitable John Lennon said it best:

“We all shine on…”

But here’s what I think of when I hear the song:… [Read more]

Santorum’s Missing Link

What’s going on with the latest “Not Mitt” candidate and his educational plan? Last week Santorum made quite a name for himself by senselessly calling the President a snob for wanting more American’s to reach for higher education. WHAT?? Okaaaay…If opportunity is bad, what other brilliant ideas does Santorum have?

According to his website, Santorum says “Education is the responsibility of parents, local schools (public and private), and states in that order.” He has said recently that “the idea that the federal government should be running schools, frankly much less that the state government should be running schools, is anachronistic.” So he is against government spending on education, right?… [Read more]