Ask Mrs. Vera: Do filibusters actually accomplish anything positive?

Vera, with Henson magnets

Dear Mrs. Vera,

So, do filibusters actually accomplish anything positive?

Truly Yours, Philip Ulcer

Mrs. Vera Newman,San Francisco, California.Photo: Cameron Wolf

Dear Mr. Cruz,

On behalf of my readers, I must thank you for writing in, even if under a nom-de-plume (that’s Quebecois for faker) and calling attention to this most pressing of issues.  Being subjected to a filibuster-a-thon™ from a stubborn foreigner Texan truly feels like attending a function where everyone is depressed because the host is insisting on playing a party game involving running your head through a letterpress or embossing machine, with the most points going to the person who sustains the least brain damage.  … [Read more]

Perry continues his ‘War on Women’

ABORTION_RESTRICTIONS_TEXAS

Over a hundred Republican lawmakers attended Rick Perry’s signing ceremony for sweeping new abortion restrictions today that could close nearly all of the clinics in Texas.

The new law bans abortions after the 20th week of pregnancy and it also dictates when abortion-inducing drugs can be taken. Additionally, the law also requires that abortion clinic doctors must have hospital admitting privileges, and abortions are now restricted solely to surgical centres — a requirement me by only five of Texas’ 42 abortion clinics.… [Read more]

Texas Tampon Two Step

texas - anti-tampon state

“On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot. ‘Tis a silly place.” - Monty Python and the Holy Grail

If the Texas Department of Public Safety was so worried about a potential attack as the state Senate ramrodded through extreme anti-reproductive health restrictions last week, one would think they would be more on the lookout for NRA board member Ted “Pantload” Nugent facing his 1960s draft board, than a concerned, orange-shirted woman with a Maxi-Pad in her purse.… [Read more]

Ain’t gonna stand for it

It's too hot...

To borrow the title from Stevie Wonder’s 1980 album, “It’s hotter than July.”

Summer is known for high heat and lazy, hazy days but, unfortunately, it’s also a time known for flaring tempers.

This title of this week’s “Say It In Song” pick, “Ain’t Gonna Stand For It,” came to mind as the result of all the anger-inducing events taking place across the country.… [Read more]

All My Exes Live In Texas

Rick Perry

Actually, they don’t, fortunately.

In a country where campaigning never stops, it was little surprise that wannabe Presidential motives are beginning to be laid at Gov. Rick Perry’s (R-Texas) feet again. After a special session attempt at a draconian anti-choice bill was filibustered in the Texas state house by  state Rep. Wendy “Red Running Shoes” Davis (D), Perry even tried to hitchhike off of Davis’ new-found stardom by using her in an attempt to sell his anti-abortion legislation.… [Read more]

Ted Cruz: Seeing Red

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So, just who is this Tea Party-approved Senator Ted Cruz (R-Texas), anyhow? When we first saw his picture, we thought we were looking at Joe McCarthy.… [Read more]

For the Love of God, Give Texas Back to Mexico

texas_sucks

This week, the White House dashed the hopes of millions of Americans when it rejected a request for Texas to sever its ties with the U.S. Bad news for the more than 125,000 people who signed the online petition for Texas to secede. Far worse news for the rest of us!

My issue with the Lone Star state, aside from the fact that it keeps launching the careers of politicians named Bush, is that Texas is a colossal embarrassment to our country.… [Read more]

Textbooks: The Bad, the Worse, the Politics

Just educate

If you haven’t been keeping up, since President Obama’s re-election, Republicans have morphed into a bunch of embittered, whiny, cranky crybabies. Mitt Romney, blaming his loss on Obama “gifts” to special groups. Paul Ryan, blowing dog-whistle about the large turnout of the “urban vote.” And then there’s the pièce de résistance, Peter Morrison.

This little-known Tea Party wacknut in Texas is demanding “an ‘amicable divorce’ from…the ‘maggots’” who voted for Obama.… [Read more]

If only the states’ petitions to secede would succeed

secede sign

Things have gotten so dastardly rotten in the past, um, six days since President Obama was re-elected, that – at last count – citizens from 20 states are circulating petitions, hoping to gather 25,000 signatures in a month so they can make a formal request to the White House to secede from the U.S. In just three days, Texas’ petition grew to 27,000 signatures (which simply tells us that there are at least 27,000 whack-a-doodles in Texas), enough for a formal response from the White House, should the President chooses to issue one – although, as I think about it, it must really suck, having to get permission from their nemesis, President Obama, in order to leave the U.S.… [Read more]

Tagg Romney — Bloodthirsty.

Tagg Romney — Bloodthirsty.

We’ve all read that Taggart Romney, whilst being interviewed on the radio, quipped that he’d like to take a swing at President Obama for claiming that his father, Mitt, lied when he, um, lied.

And we all know that Tagg will probably never get the chance, what with the Secret Service and all. But there is something he can do to throw a figurative punch — he could simply buy an electronic voting machine company and rig the vote in his father’s favor.… [Read more]

Rick Perry’s God Problem

rick-perry-300x262-1

Rick Perry got me thinking the other day.  He had an encounter with a fourteen year old bisexual girl that went like this:

“This is about my faith, and I happen to think that there are a whole host of sins, homosexuality being one of them,” Perry said, adding that he himself was “a sinner” so he wouldn’t “be the first one to throw a stone”.[Read more]