Those of you who read TheBrooklynDame regularly know that nearly everything I discuss here has a political angle. Whether I’m talking about the unwillingness and inability of our political leaders to get off their collective borderline crazy arses and realise that if the President is flushed down the loo then we suffer too! work together and do something productive to move this nation forward, the underlying theme is managing our responsibilities.
Each day there is some news article about conditions that as individuals we are, more often than not, powerless to change. There are, however, some things that are within our control such as how we prepare ourselves to be responsible for those who will come after us. When I read stories about people struggling to take care of themselves and their children, along with my thoughts about how corporations and government haven’t kept up their end of the deal, I think about personal accountability. What am I talking about? The economic impact on society at large and families in particular when children are brought into the world with no support systems.
I heard about a movement called ‘No Wedding No Womb’ and I was interested enough to check it out.
While I will not tell a woman that, in all circumstances, she should be married before having children, I will say that economic considerations for all concerned should be well thought out before children are brought into the world. I appreciate the sentiment that before having children women should make sure that their self-esteem is intact (why pass your baggage on to an innocent child?) AND prepare by surrounding themselves with emotional and financial support. That said, I know there is no piece of paper that can guarantee that a child from a two- (married) parent home will provide the ideal circumstances necessary for nesting; additionally, society has many different definitions of what constitutes a viable ‘family’. The important thing to note is that the large percentage of first, second and third marriages ending in divorce provides evidence that, given the state of the world, anyone considering bringing children into it should do everything possible to ensure that the child has a safety net.
I’m sure some will give me the ‘children are a blessing’ speech and say that no matter how they get here it’s the Lord’s will. OK. Sure…they’re more than entitled to bleat their opinions but my focus here is that, as with any major decision, some projecting into the future should be done — and anyone who doesn’t think having kids is a major decision is a HUGE part of the problem.
As women we get annoyed when men try to control our bodies yet some of us don’t want to exercise our OWN control by dictating when, how and IF we should have children. Financially speaking, based on median income levels and cost of living, children are generally a burden so a woman should be prepared to care for them and not be content to say that things will be fine because she has a government check/mother/aunt/uncles/friends who can step in and help out when needed.
The days of The New Deal appear to be over; the national mood is more one of ‘you get yours and I’ll get mine’. Many of us tend to think that the direction civilised countries take is one in which all citizens, particularly those who, like children, cannot do for themselves are cared for. Anyone who has paid attention to recent political debates can see that is not the current deal here – the social supports are being chipped away.
Things happen that are outside our control as individuals; the current recession they’re not fooling anyone…this is a depression! is an example of that. Women taking care of themselves and making sure the emotional strength and financial support is there from a contributing partner or support system is a step in the right direction. It also helps ensure that any children added to the equation are more likely to thrive than just survive.
For more information, please go to: http://www.noweddingnowomb.com