2011: A Blurry Year In Review

Image: iClipArt.com

This is the time of year when those ‘Year In  Review’ articles appear. The thinking behind (some of) it is that in order to move forward, we should take a look back so that we may see what what we’ve survived and examine the lessons learned along the way. Here’s a small slice of what we recall in no particular order (hey, it’s still holiday season so we’re perfectly fine with being a wee bit foggy from all that, um, holiday cheer). Included is our interpretation and mock subtitles of the thinking behind the scenes:
  • Obama got Osama: The GOP was pissed and not too congratulatory. *Obama had a “HOW YA LIKE ME NOW?!? moment with the GOP?!”  Nah nah nah nah..hey heeeeey….. goodbye…*
  • The Arab Spring: Should have been called ‘The Arabian wildfire’ (it’s sure spreading like one!). Literally ‘ignited’ by the self immolation of one desperate young man in Tunisia who had ‘all he could stand and could NOT stand anymore!’. *The people said ‘We are SO not waiting for these ‘I’m your leader for a lifetime’ folks to step the fuck down*
  • U.S. debt downgraded for first time in history:  GOP and S&P (Standard & Poors) say SCREW YOU to the country’s bond rating. Their subtitles say ‘WE’LL DO ANY DAMN THING IN OUR POWER TO MAKE THE POTUS LOOK LIKE A TURD!’*   So the nation gets its first Black president and the GOP had to make sure the whole world knows the U.S. has bad credit??
  • Occupy Wall Street and then Occupy EVERY damn thing: Disenfranchised and disgusted people figured that since they couldn’t occupy their own homes or a desk at a job, why not occupy any/every where.* 
  • Unemployment levels that are still too damn high: *Where are the JOBS, Speaker Boehner?!?* or Tax breaks for the “Job Creators” hasn’t BEEN working, what makes you think re-newing it will change anything?!
  • In the ‘You’re such a dick‘ category: Arnold Schwarzeneggar knocked up the nanny and New York Congressman Anthony Weiner proved he’s a silly wanker who likes to tweet the family jewels. DUH.
  • GOP debates better known as the TeaPublican version of Comedy Central…no offense to Comedy Central that seem endless in their number but completely empty of real content.
  • Ron Paul‘s re-emerged paranoid and racist newsletters: What happened to all that “personal responsibility” now that he wants to disavow knowledge of those rant papers — even though they have HIS signature on them AND he’s on video discussing them?
  • Newt Gingrich:  His turn as the ‘ANYONE but Romney’ choice will be over in 5,4,3,2,1… *CHOKE, GASP* The party continues to scrape the bottom of the bottom of the barrel — Rick Santorum — you’re up buddy!  taking the lead over the rest of the GOP candidates Me no likey.
  • Patriot Act 2.0: *Damn. WTLF is THAT all about? Constitutional law, anyone?*
  • THE royal wedding in the U.K.; worldwide congratulations and best wishes were showered upon Prince William and Kate Middleton though more attention was paid to Kate’s sister’s arse than Kate herself.  Ouch.
  • Anti-freedom of choice extremists ratcheted up attacks on women’s right to choose. Personhood for an embryo? REALLY? Hey, it worked for Corporations so why not? FAIL!!!
  • Back to the future: 2011 is the year when the assault on the voting rights of African-American, elderly, poor and disabled voters ramped up again as though the nation JUST left the days of dusty Confederates. Again. *Sigh*
  • No more war in Iraq: The troops came home…But my, my, my — what a HUGE expensive embassy we have over there! Halliburton!!
  • Hugo Chavez, President of Venezuela, suspects a U.S. conspiracy is behind so many South American leaders battling various forms of cancer, right before elections, one. after. the.other.  What?!? Would the U.S. be involved in nefarious covert activities involving foreign leaders??  Umm…that’s just CRAZY talk, right?
  • Samoa votes to skip Friday (Personally, we’d vote for Monday!) in order to move into the same time zone as their trade partners in Australia and New Zealand.
  • In what one can only assume is a case of mass Stockholm Syndrome: The people of North Korea wept in abject grief over the loss of their “Dear Leader”, Kim Jong-il. He is  one of a few who were sent/went to their reckoning.
  • Three women share the Nobel Peace Prize.  *Women, we now have a triple ‘How ya like us NOW’ moment!*

The year is just about over, people. What’s in store for next year?  Well, it’s simple; we continue to move, progressively, in the right direction — which means moving left. #I’mJustSayin’.



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