Judgy McJudge-Alot sat staring at Happy McHapystance yesterday evening after a long, arduous day of business negotiations. Both men have VIP status in the world (probably even more so in their minds). McHappystance got up and left after much laughter, love, and promises hoped to be kept. McJudge-Alot sighed painfully, rolling his eyes, and said “I just came from a really confusing meeting.” Frown face.
“I’m sorry. What was it about?”, I said. Trying to help strangers makes one feel better at times.
“You know, people might understand each other if they were forthcoming with the truth. Instead they are sleazy, backhanded, and greasy. So, everyone is confused. I wasn’t cut out for business. I tend to say what I think, as crazy as that may sound. I get in trouble for it.”
“Oh, you said you were in comedy. I know your business.” His tie was perfect. His teeth were crooked.
After repeating how confused he was, I asked him what his business was, and he answered, “Wall Street.”
I will let the reader pause now for several moments and wipe the consequential drool from your face.
I laughed too. Hard.
“What’s so funny. You are laughing at the way I make my living?” Loathsome face.
“Yes, actually.” I was. And, I am.
He got so angry. He was angry?! He has a right to be angry?!
I pissed him off. He said, “What’s the humor in my job?”
Dear sir, every goddamn thought in your head. You are confused? What do you think the American people feel, especially the ones with their heads on cold pavement camping outside your cushy, leather couched offices? They don’t even know why they are so confused!
How about the people watching those very people camping out, not undertanding why they themselves lost their houses because “the baby got sick, we had to pay for the surgery, took off from the job that couldn’t offer health insurance because it cost too much, so we took out a second mortgage. We couldn’t afford to pay for that surgery…then we had to claim bankruptcy.”
Those people sometimes lost their livelihoods, their homes, their children; their pride. They’ve been called careless, stupid, extravagant.
You get confused by my laughter at the fact you are confused in a meeting where people sit and confuse each other for profit. All I have to do is turn on the TV, or turn to a stranger in the street, to see the effects of that very situation, you son of a monkey. Oh, and the rest of the world would homemade shank you if you complained to them about your job, you sick piece of excrement.
My friend giggling at the end if the bar should have vomited in your bottled beer, SIR. You would have been better off.
When I reminded him that he said he knew comedy, he did a very strange thing: he ignored me.
Hey, friends. I don’t think we’re getting anywhere.