Honey Do or Honey Don’t

Image: iStockPhoto.com/Crédits :WendellandCarolyn

This month’s Real Simple (April) had a large piece on how women spend their time and why they seem to have no free time.

I’m a woman, I spend my time on stuff, and I seem to have very little free time, so I was curious to read their survey results to see what was going on.

Turns out, the culprit of our free-time suck?  Stuff in our house like kids, spouses, and chores.

I totally get the kids and spouse thing.  I mean, since having Charlie almost five weeks ago, the second he needs something, anything else I am doing has to wait.  It’s the same with my older son.  I spend more time feeding him, playing with him, and fixing crap he messed up than I do on anything I would like to be doing.

And I will admit it’s hard to concentrate on feeling like I have free time when I am at home when there is laundry to do, dishes to wash, toilets to scrub, and dinner to make.

So I found myself nodding to the results.

Until I got to the part where the survey revealed that women don’t like to delegate the chores and home stuff.

Cue screeching halt noise.

According to the article, even though women claim they think their partner is totally capable, most women will not split the work with their spouse…or anyone else!

This surprised me because in our house, chores are pretty evenly split.  And after I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, we hired a cleaning lady so I wouldn’t have to worry about needing to clean the house anymore.  When we found out Charlie was due in March, we decided to keep sending Eddie to daycare until the end of the school year, so I could focus on mothering Charlie before I had both of them home.

I had zero problem delegating so that all tasks were evenly distributed to what we can handle, and when we couldn’t do it all with our full time jobs and our kids, we hired someone to help us.

Apparently this is not the norm.

Most women hold the tightest to anything having to do with their children, decorating, managing household finances, and organizing (according to the article).

Ok, I handle all the decorating, but I do ask for my husband’s input.

And I do about 95% of all the organizing.

But the kids we split evenly (when they aren’t at daycare) and the finances?  I was ecstatic to ship that to him before we were even married.

What I found most humorous?  Women don’t want their partner or other people doing their “jobs” around the house (only 26% will give their spouses jobs around the house), but they have no issue letting their kids do them (more than 39% assign jobs to their children).

I can honestly say my husband does a much more thorough job of folding laundry than my two year old does.

What does your household look like?  Do you fall into the “norm” with the woman doing most of the work…and not allowing others to help, or do you have an even distribution?


  1. We are 50/50. If one cooks, one cleans the dishes. If one puts a kid to bed, another picks up and does a chore. I hold
    down the fort and straighten up while he mows the lawn. If one is just sitting there while the other works, we give them the stink eye. Tit for tat. I can see a lot of marriages struggling without division of labor. One party gets bitter or pissy. Doesn’t say why. Vicious cycle. Also? “women’s jobs”? My husband can clean just as well as me. He can cut veggies. He can grill. He can wash a dog. These are not “my chores”. They are family chores. Nuff said

  2. Well, in my marriage, my husband would not do any chores at all. It was my job. Period. End of story. We’re no longer married, but I guarantee that I’d have no problem splitting jobs at home. If marriage is a team, then keeping house requires teamwork. I’m not that surprised that many women don’t delegate though.

  3. We share the chores equally among all family members – kids and spouse and even the 19mth old baby gets her fair share of helping out.

  4. In our house, the chores are supposed to be mine, because I’m home all day and it’s easier. Ummm… roflmao! That was the original reason anyway, with him doing a bunch of random chores on Saturday morning to make sure we kept the house presentable. Now that he’s added a dissertation and part time job on top of his full time job, and we added a second child, I’m amazed any time a chore gets completed.


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