If You Could Hie to Kolob…


(Note: This is not meant to be a hit piece against Mitt Romney, his beliefs or anyone who believes in the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  As we recall how President Obama’s faith was thoroughly examined, scrutinized and, in many cases, lied about, we feel it’s only fair to give the reader a good look at the religion Mitt Romney claims as his own. What do Mormons believe about God, Jesus, heaven, death, baptism and so on?  Let’s start our examination with — )

The Nature of God

Mormons believe God was once a flesh-and-blood human being named Elohim who attained perfection, and therefore “godhood.” This is something that is available to all Mormons, as there are countless planets scattered about the universe with countless gods to rule over them. We are just lucky enough to live in Elohim’s universe.

As for Elohim, he lives on the planet closest to star called “Kolob.”  According to an official LDS site on About.com:

Kolob means “the first creation” and is the name of the star closest to the “residence of God.” It is not God’s actual residence.

We learn of Kolob from Abraham’s account found in The Pearl of Great Price, one of the Standard Works of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

AND I, Abraham, had the Urim and Thummim, which the Lord my God had given unto me, in Ur of the Chaldees;

And I saw the stars, that they were very great, and that one of them was nearest unto the throne of God; and there were many great ones which were near unto it;

And the Lord said unto me: These are the governing ones; and the name of the great one is Kolob, because it is near unto me, for I am the Lord thy God: I have set this one to govern all those which belong to the same order as that upon which thou standest.

Kolob governs all the planets which belong to the same order as the earth and is after the reckoning of the Lord’s times, seasons and revolutions thereof. One revolution of Kolob is a day unto the Lord and one day in Kolob is equal to a thousand years on earth.

Mormons tend to downplay the doctrine that God was once a flesh and blood being and that we can also become Gods.  But they preach against the words of their own past leaders, such as this quote from former Prophet Spencer W. Kimball.

“…the whole design of the gospel is to lead us onward and upward to greater achievement, even, eventually, to godhood. This great possibility was enunciated by the Prophet Joseph Smith in the King Follet sermon (see Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, pp. 342–62; and emphasized by President Lorenzo Snow. It is this grand and incomparable concept: As God now is, man may become! (See The Teachings of Lorenzo Snow, comp. Clyde J. Williams, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1984, p. 1.)”

Seems pretty clear.

So, to sum up what Mitt Romney believes about the nature of God.

1. He has a flesh and blood body.

2. His name is Elohim.

3. He was once a mortal who attained godhood and got his own universe to lord over.

4. He rules this universe from the closest planet to the star Kolob. (For some reason, we can’t find the name of that planet.)

5. If we adhere to the teachings of the LDS and attain perfection, we can all have our own universes to rule over, just like Elohim.  Or else, we just go to heaven.

But which heaven?  That’s next in the series.

But before we continue, let’s all enjoy the video and the lovely hymn, “If You Could Hie to Kolob.”

If You Could Hie to Kolob, 284 – William W. Phelps

1. If you could hie to Kolob In the twinkling of an eye,
And then continue onward With that same speed to fly,
Do you think that you could ever, Through all eternity,
Find out the generation Where Gods began to be?

2. Or see the grand beginning, Where space did not extend?
Or view the last creation, Where Gods and matter end?
Me thinks the Spirit whispers, “No man has found ‘pure space,’
Nor seen the outside curtains, Where nothing has a place.”

3. The works of God continue, And worlds and lives abound;
Improvement and progression Have one eternal round.
There is no end to matter; There is no end to space;
There is no end to spirit; There is no end to race.

4. There is no end to virtue; There is no end to might;
There is no end to wisdom; There is no end to light.
There is no end to union; There is no end to youth;
There is no end to priesthood; There is no end to truth.

5. There is no end to glory; There is no end to love;
There is no end to being; There is no death above.
There is no end to glory; There is no end to love;
There is no end to being; There is no death above.


  1. Simple. Do your homework. Look at the links in a story, follow them back to the source. Most of the stories you will read about this subject come from LDS sources, and if you can’t trust them to tell you about their own religion, who can you?


  1. […] taxes? August 6, 2012 by Bill Schmalfeldt – Satire for the People Leave a Comment We’ll continue our series looking at the wacky stuff Mitt Romney believes as a Mormon next week.  But […]

  2. […] you might know, the LDS church has very strict dress codes and, according to Ms. Romney, she wears the special undergarment and […]

  3. Tough Birds says:

    […] campaign isn’t her childhood country club ladies tea. It certainly isn’t the megatither Mormon bishop missus’ expected deferential gentility schtick, either. Was Ann the “Stay-at-home-Mom […]

  4. […] worked up enough over the ultra-conservative Muslim violence to forget about the Romney’s “Mormon […]

  5. […] intolerance in it.  Content allows us to make sense, easily, of such things as whether, say, the Mormons who raise money to ensure gay inequality are suffering a greater harm by the simple act of having […]