“I had to use both o’ me hands to do it,” said noted former lawyer Erring Wortheringtonshireham Walker, “but I found me ass crack! Aye, it was a long search, but I finally found whar the good lord split me!
There was much celebrating. “It’s more than we ever expected of the lad,” Mayor Stran Lyinghham said.
IN OTHER NEWS
Neanderthal blogger and one-time lawyer for TWO jurisdictions, Aaron Walker (Worthing) revealed that arch evil villain (he pronounces it “villy-un”) Bill Schmalfeldt once accepted a friend request from Brett Kimberlin on his rarely used Facebook page. “He’s the Liberal Grouch! Did you know that,” Worthing blathered to anyone who would listen as he cranked out his latest work of art on a Royal Typewriter hooked to a toaster that he calls “The Internet Thing”
“This proves EVERYTHING! HE IS A KIMBERLIN ASSOCIATE!!! IT’S RIGHT THERE ON HIS FACEBOOK PAGE!!! AROOO! AROOOO!”
Other Kimberlin associates (because Aaron says so) include someone who looks like a South Park character, someone who has the same last name as a popular line of frozen TV Dinners (which means Kimberlin is going to freeze our bodies and eat them later), the Zig Zag cigarette paper man, some other guy in a hat, and , اتحادبرای پیشبرد سکولاردموکراسی درایران
We haven’t checked, but we think that means “Death to America.” We’ll just assume it does.
Walker Worthing filled out several other column inches on his blog, which ultimately means you have to give AT LEAST $50 to his “I don’t want to find a real job” fund, which you can find convenient links to implanted into your forehead.
Basically it’s the same warmed over blather about how Bill Schmalfeldt hates Jesus and America, too, and how he personally threatened to violate the tender, sore anal tissue of Stran Leemingham with a fence pole wrapped in barbed wire, but the clever devil worded it in such a way as to confuse us by making it NOT look like a threat, but WE know what he meant. If we leave out chunks of what he actually said, we can make him say anything we want. For instance, in his post today, Worthing Aarington actually wrote these words.
Patrick “Patterico” Frey is beating his infant son, doing his level best to threaten vile conduct and brass-knucke thuggery!