The Presidential Debates: Return of the Jedi

“Never underestimate the power of the Schwartz.” ~ Mel Brooks’ Spaceballs, 1987

President Obama came out last night on Lon Gisland, Jedi knight light saber fully extended and swinging with the Force. Somebody ate their Wheaties.

CNN’s Candy Crawley, as moderator, expertly officiated last night’s brawl. Unlike the previous debate, the “Town Hall” format was more open and freewheeling.

Perhaps in MegaMultiMillionaireCEOLand, Mitt Romney figures he is entitled to always having the last word, or the only word if he so desires. Journalist Candy Crawley set him straight.

The President came armed with facts about the achievements of his first term. Romney specifics are still in stealth mode.

On Libya, the exchange between Romney and the President on the citation of when “terrorism” was mentioned resembled an early Harvard Law moot court exchange. Romney waded in with the latest GOP attack line, and the President urged Mitt’s argument line on, and then exposed the logical and factual shortcomings to the jury.  “Judge” Crawley adeptly confirmed the President’s recollection of the facts .

What will the anti-immigration xenophobes Romney pandered to for more than a year on the campaign trail think when “veto the DREAM Act”Mitt now says he wants to provide a path to permanent residency for the innocent children of undocumented immigrants?

I’m wondering how the Teavangelicals Romney sweet-talked barely weeks ago are reacting to last night’s new “contraceptive freedom” Mitt?  Is Rick Santorum calling the Vatican for an emergency exorcism for Mitt’s heresy?

What happened to “NRA Mitt” now that the gun lobby’s endorsement has come off the presses? Romney stumbled attempting where to flip flop on an assault weapons question. There lay the pitfalls in trying to say anything to schmooze a particular audience to get their vote to move into the big White House on Pennsylvania Ave. N.W..

Ann Romney will have to endure more “Women for Mitt” gatherings with pizza and donuts with the pesky proletarians to try to sell her quarter billion dollar dreamboat hubby. As lamely as Mitt ducked economic fairness for women, I’m doubting they emerged convinced. Ann’s scratching her head wondering why they just didn’t hook up and get lucky with a millionaire scion.

On foreign investments, Romney lowered his blind trust blinders. With Mitt’s pitch across the plate, it was no surprise President Obama deftly drove a “dependent 47%” moocher pox of Wall Street gaffe reminder over the back fence.

If Romney, the private sector businessman is so great, is settling for desperately hoping for any job and any pay the new Republican American Dream?

Mitt doesn’t seem to learn, nor care, no matter how many of his oft-spoken “facts” get debunked by free press. I spewed coffee with Romney’s continued characterization of Bain Capital as a “small business.”

As a columnist, I have lived in the political swamp long enough to realize it’s not only what you say, it’s how you say it. In the first presidential debate, the restrained, “presidential” Obama may have looked like Obi-Wan Kenobi’s stoical last matchup with the tony Cranbrook School bully Darth Vader. Last night, he reincarnated as a freshly Princess Leia dubbed Luke Skywalker off to save the universe from the dark-moneyed Imperial Stormtroopers of the corporate free market Empire.

As with George Lucas’ famed Star Wars trilogy, we still have one last debate on Monday night, and the closing days before the Election Day finale.

Can the President continue to outfly Mitt Vader’s Bow-Tie Fighters on his tail, and deal a bulls-eye  shot to the Moneyed Mormon Death Star?


  1. facebook_maria.holt.10 says

    Excellent post! Love the snarky-ness! Best Line: “The President came armed with facts about the achievements of his first term. Romney specifics are still in stealth mode.”


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