Campaign 2012: The Final Days

“Trying to reason with hurricane season.”

– Jimmy Buffett

This week, in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, President Obama and Governor Chris Christie (R-N.J.) set their campaigning differences aside to deal with a catastrophic storm.  It didn’t take long for that Rightie klaxon Rush Limbaugh to blast Chris Christie for being too chummy with the President. The President and Joisey Governor had a job to do for which residents will hold them accountable at the polls. Limbaugh probably never was even elected to crosswalk guard or boys’ room monitor in elementary school. Still, Limbaugh has a role to fill as mouthpiece for the radical fringe.

I’m from New York. Let’s put this in guy terms. (Les femmes can sit back and laugh.) Rush, were I you, I really wouldn’t pick a fight with Chris Christie. It’s Jersey, not some tony Frou Frou Palm Beach. If you want a mano y mano fight with the big guy in Trenton, you’re going to have to come with more manhood than a guy who was busted at an airport for illicit prescription fraudulent Viagra.

I can and do regularly disagree with Governor Christie on a number of issues, but his and the President’s bipartisan response to a major, destructive natural disaster shows he has “lead in his pencil.” If Limbaugh is going to question Chris Christie’s sexuality, let’s keep in mind the Governor’s four kids. El Rushbo is on trophy wifey #4 batting zero for four in the progeny program. Governor Christie (and the President) made it through law school. Limbaugh couldn’t make it past two semesters and a summer session at some podunk land-grant joint in Missouri.  Chris Christie is a worthy adversary, despite our differences. Limbaugh has picked a fight he is woefully unarmed for. It’s Jersey.

Limbaugh’s charlatan compadre and draft-dodger, Mitt Romney, did a quick set change in Kettering, Ohio. Forget “Victory” rally. He staged an entirely ersatz “storm relief” rally, replete with a staffer-shopped $5,000 WalMart spree from campaign-paid “donations” so that Bishop Myth could be seen with faithful supporters who weren’t empty-handed. Is our  Mormon “missionary” from a chateau in France during the Vietnam War trying to emulate some faux televangelist with bad hair and dimples on TV weeping Jimmy Swaggart crocodile tears “doing the Lord’s work?” Give me a break! It’s as phony as those asbestos-lined magic undies.

Former President Bill Clinton (D) is out on the campaign trail, as President Obama led storm recovery, firing up crowds to offset  being overspent by the Koch Bros. Karl Rove, and rich donors we may never know. Meanwhile, former President Bush is off to a $4,000 a head financial industry private soiree in the Cayman Islands, a place where Mitt Romney has a chunk of his immense vulture capital fortune. Best to keep the embarrassments where they hope voters don’t see them. As with those “private” mega donor fetes, don’t count on keeping disparaging remarks about ordinary Americans away from We the “You People.”  I imagine Dubya appearing at a Republican campaign function would make Romney and his senior staffers break out in hives, re-hide Mitt’s oh-so-secret tax returns, and fleeing to Father Damien’s leper colony on Molokai.

We’re down to the final days before election day, and the Romney campaign is tripling down on  proven false advertising. Is Mitt placing a final Sheldon Adelson-sized bet, channelling his inner Goebbels?