The continuing lunacy of blind GOP gun love.

“I don’t know of anyone who needs a 30-round magazine to go hunting.” – Sen. Joe Manchin (D-W.Va.)

I do. Remember Sarah Palin’s inept caribou hunt on cable TV? I’m certain that if “Mama Grizzly” was being charged by a real, live, furry, upscale Sub-Zero megabuck gourmet refrigerator-sized bear, Snowbilly Grifter Palin would be more preoccupied soaking her Tena Twist embarrassing leak panty liner than playing a crossdressing Rambo with her Bushmaster 5.56mm Accessorizing Barbie assault rifle.  It would be a hilarious form of entertainment which would garner a much larger Nielsen rating than Our Girl $arah ever did on her series, without a seven-figure Alaska government film industry subsidy. On Comedy Central.

Way, way up north in the Arctic, there’s a rather frigid collection of Norwegian islands known as Svalbard. It’s a Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer snack and St. Nick potty break stop for the sleigh all-nighter rally on 24th December from Santa’s Workshop. On jaunts outside Longyearbyen, there ARE Polar Bears which might possibly mistake you for a McDonald’s Filet-o-Lutefisk sandwich, and a rifle chambered for a round with much bigger cajones than the Second Amendment chic trendy M-16/AR-15 clones is required. Hardly a haven for the effete.

Unlike a NRA gun culture wet dream, there are rules on Svalbard. The 2,500 odd resident archipelago, under international treaty and Norwegian sovereign law since 1920, has common sense rules for firearms as one enjoys the wild Arctic wilderness.  No Dirty Harry Wild West “locked and loaded” macho bluster in populated areas. The Governor of Svalbard and the politi (police) take a very dim view of liquored-up gun toting. As a longtime barkeep, firearms and firewater don’t mix. Registration and separate, secure storage of firearms are some legal requirements in Norway. Common sense.

I wouldn’t advise Righty Americans to try to lecture Norwegians about the cost of freedom. Read your history.

Image: Pixabay

Here, we are too “exceptional” to be troubled with sensibility. We have NRA “firearms freedom.” As more than a few news accounts and columnists have said: “Enough!”

On this side of the Atlantic, Rep. Louie “Terror Babies!” Gohmert (R-Tex.) ought to go hunting with former Vice President Dick “Undisclosed Location” Cheney (R-Halliburton). Remember the last time Cheney went hunting with an attorney? Dick shot a lawyer he LIKED. Somehow a conservative Republican “having your back” doesn’t sound quite so reassuring.  I’m sure a blessing from serially failed presidential wannabe preacher Mike Huckabee (R-Ark.) would give our Tyler, Tex. Sunday School teacher great solace.

Let’s not forget the hypocrisy of Gohmert warning of the “tyranny” of  “government.”  Loony Louie hasn’t been shy about collecting that $174,000 annual government salary.

When the Obama-hating sore losers secede from the Union, what will the Righty nutters call themselves? The Silly States of Amerikkka?

When I see the photos of innocent, young victims of last Friday’s Newtown, Conn. outrage and the brave women educators who died saving as many as they could, the sun has set on the “anything goes” twisted interpretation of the Second Amendment. So-called “firearms freedom” has become as welcome as a pet Velociraptor at your church picnic.

It’s 2012, not 1789. It’s America’s wake-up call.The NRA snooze button won’t work this time.


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