Over the past four days, I have gone through a lot of emotions about the tragedy in Newtown, CT.
My initial reaction was shock, followed by passionate anger and defensiveness at almost every post I saw on social media. I felt that I was suddenly surrounded by callous idiots.
I saw posts about how the mentally ill should put a bullet in their own heads before they hurt someone else.
My news feed filled with religious zealots blaming the fact that we are living in a “Godless” country and if we had God in our schools this wouldn’t have happened.
My first reaction was to read all the commentary, all the editorials, all the opinions.
Even though I couldn’t bring myself to watch or read the story on the news, I let myself drown in what everyone else was saying about the story.
I was falling into the rabbit hole of the internet “opinions”.
Most of my weekend and all day Monday I was in a fog.
I started by trying to add my own…by post links to things I agreed with…by ranting on social media about gun control and mental healthcare reform, and the role of teachers and the ridiculousness of “God” not being “in school”.
But I was just fueling the fire. I was flaming other people’s passionate responses.
I was not helping.
Hate and anger do not fix hate and anger.
I have things I want to say about people with mental illnesses (I am one, but someone with autism is not).
I have words that need to be written about the idea of God being or not being in our schools and how I believe it is insanely UN-Christian to say those children would be alive if we had God in our schools.
I will write about the amazing everyday heroes that are teachers.
I have already talked about gun control, but I have more thoughts.
But today is not that day because today I can’t say anything everyone with a computer hasn’t said already.
Today I will begin to restore my faith in humanity by doing good anyway.
By being kind even though I feel like it might not make a difference. Because the only thing I know to ever successfully combat the terrible is goodness.
Do good today for no other reason other than you can.