Bill Schmalfeldt was otherwise occupied this week having his foot surgically removed from the descending colon of a wingnut lawbreaker. So this week, his space is occupied by a guest columnist.
by Lester Smelgerson
Public Affairs Spokesman
Howard County, Maryland, Tea Party Splinter Group
That Splintered from Real Tea Party Upon Learning
Actual Tea Party is a Tool of the Left Being Used
to Make People Hate Conservatives
Our worst nightmares are coming true. Roving bands of armed Negroes are coming to kill all the white men, steal our white women, and drink all our gin and whiskey.
Listen to the words of Stan Solomon, blogger Greg Howard, and president of Gun Owners of America Larry Pratt as they outline the doom that awaits us all.
Pratt predicted that President Obama may begin confiscating guns in order to provoke a violent response to justify further oppression, which host Stan Solomon feared would lead to the imprisonment of hundreds of thousands of people.
Pratt once again insisted that Obama is acting like King George III, a sentiment with which Solomon concurred, saying, “That will happen quickly and they will wipe those people out to set an example.”
But Solomon wasn’t finished: “I believe they will put together a racial force to go against an opposite race resistance, basically a black force to go against a white resistance, and then they will claim anyone resisting the black force they are doing it because they are racist.”
Howard agreed: “You may be right because he has been sowing the seeds of racial hatred; we were healing quite well as a nation on racial issues until Obama came along and now we have a lot of racial discord.”
After arguing that Obama is “not American” and not a natural born citizen, Howard maintained that Obama may begin “wiping out a few hundred people who own guns, pull a large scale Waco or a Ruby Ridge type incident” and have it “tinged it with racial overtones.” But just in case Obama goes through with his plans to “take down” the Internet, “people are setting up phone-trees all over the place” to stop Obama in his tracks.
“If Obama can take your guns away he can take your car, he can take your home, he can take your bank account, he can take your very life,” Howard said.
Well, Suzie, we here in Howard County, Maryland, are proud to live in a county named after a patriot like Greg Howard. And we have already begun defensive measures. Every able bodied White man who thinks like we do has already started digging. We are going to connect our tunnels into one large underground room where we can hide our guns, our ammo, our food and water, our gin, our whiskey, and — if there’s room — our women.
We refuse to let Barry Sotero, the Obamunist that he is, take our rights to have unlimited means to inflict death from a distance. No ma’am. We ain’t gonna allow it!
We will stay underground until the Negro Menace is satisfied that they have beaten us. You don’t have to listen to all that many Amos and Andy shows to realize how lazy they are as a people. And as soon as they’re napping in the hot, midday sun with a bellyful of watermelon and fried chicken, we will rise from our holes and take America back.
And that, little girl, you can count on!