Chris Christie: Mr. GOP Establishment, 2016?

David Corn, the prescient pundit at Mother Jones has dubbed New Jersey Governor Chris Christie as the “GOP Establishment Candidate for 2016.” We love Mr. Corn and have no reason to doubt his instincts. And, yes. If the Republican Party has any hope of winning the White House in a battle against Hillary Clinton in three years, Gov.… [Read more]

Benedict Spills His Guts in New Tell-All Bio Book

Freed from the bonds of the Papacy, protected by Papal Immunity, but no longer the Supreme Pontiff of the Holy Roman Catholic Church, Joe Ratzinger blows the dome off of St. Peter’s Basillica and allows you to see what’s going on inside with his BLOCKBUSTER BEST SELLER…

“VICE IN THE VATICAN”

“We used to have little Friday night shows in the Sistine Chapel where a chorus line of altar boys would come in and sing Broadway show tunes!”

–Joe Ratzinger, Pope Emeritus

“VICE IN THE VATICAN”![Read more]

Negroes? With GUNS? RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

Bill Schmalfeldt was otherwise occupied this week having his foot surgically removed from the descending colon of a wingnut lawbreaker. So this week, his space is occupied by a guest columnist.

by Lester Smelgerson Public Affairs Spokesman Howard County, Maryland, Tea Party Splinter Group That Splintered from Real Tea Party Upon Learning Actual Tea Party is a Tool of the Left Being Used to Make People Hate Conservatives

Our worst nightmares are coming true.… [Read more]

Planning Underway for Retiring Pope’s New Residence

The Vatican announced that Pope Benedict XVI, who will abdicate the Papacy on Feb. 28, will not move into the Blessed Sisters of the Poor Convent as first planned. (Mother Superior said his presence would be a distraction and he’s been Pope — who’s gonna tell him to put the toilet seat back down?)

So, a special habitat will be devised for the Supreme Head of the Holy Roman Catholic Church (soon to be known as Mr.… [Read more]

LA County Deputy District Attorney Establishes Pattern of Online Abuse Against Women

Los Angeles County Deputy District Attorney Patrick Frey is being sued by former Breitbart ally, Nadia Naffe. The reason? Since Naffe filed charges against Dead Andy’s favorite video-making toady, the ridiculous James O’Keefe III, alleging that O’Keefe drugged her, took her to a barn and attempted to sexually assault her, Frey (who had never met Naffe but who was friends with O’Keefe) made slandering Ms.… [Read more]

Legendary Sniper and Pal Take Marine with PTSD to Gun Range. What Could Go Wrong?

With all the talk about guns and mental health, and the post-traumatic stress syndrome of vets from Iraq and Afghanistan, what better idea could one have than to grab your neighbor and take a homecoming Marine who has psychological problems out to a gun range and put a weapon in his hands.

What could possibly go wrong?… [Read more]

Lee Stranahan — An Idiot Abroad

No, this is not a photo of some kidnap victim taken to prove he is really still alive.  This is a shot, self-taken by Lee “The Grifter” Stranahan. See, Lee talked some dumbass right wing donor into giving him money so he could travel from Dallas to Chicago, from Chicago to Pittsburgh, then from Pittsburgh to Steubenville, Ohio so Lee could be there, in person, to do…

Something.… [Read more]

Daddy No Write Column Today. Shiloh Write Column.

by Shiloh Marie Schmalfeldt German Shepherd, Age 6

Daddy too busy write column. Shiloh write column. Daddy watch football, do podcast. Daddy nice.

Why for people not nice?  Why for people mean to each other? Why need guns?  Guns scare Shiloh.  Guns scare Raven, too.  She my big sister, border collie, 8 years old. She pretend brave, but Shiloh know better.… [Read more]

Teabaggers Dream of Post Obama America

August 20, 2017 — Hurricane Bobo levels Miami. President Bachmann says, “I don’t know what they expect US to do. Last I heard Miami was in Florida. It’s Florida’s problem, not ours. If people can’t afford to rebuild their properties after a natural disaster, they should move someplace safer.”

September 21, 2017 — 10.6 Earthquake Destroys Los Angeles, San Diego, does heavy damage in San Francisco.… [Read more]

Still, It’s Easier Than Dealing With Republicans

After months of frustrating negotiations, I finally came to a deal with my dogs last week that allows them to crap on the living room rug as much as they like.

It was a bipartisan deal, the product of weeks of strenuous back-and-forth.

Considering how far apart we were at the onset, frankly, I’m amazed we made the deal at all.… [Read more]