Did Romney and his Horrible Sons Kidnap Two Nice Doggies?

Applying the same journalistic standards as the Daily Caller and the Washington Times in their reporting of the Robert Menendez story yesterday morning, we at the Patriot-Ombudsman can now reveal the shocking truth that will certainly bring Mitt Romney’s campaign to the screeching halt it has already seemed to have screeched to.

Two Ohio Irish Setters from the Toledo, Ohio area, claim that Mitt Romney took them from their yards, forced them into doggie carriers, had his five sons tie them to the top of the campaign bus and drive up and down the Ohio Turnpike until they soiled themselves in fear.… [Read more]

What To Get Your GOP Crush For Valentine’s Day

So it’s Valentine’s Day, and even though you totally decided last week that you LOURVEE [GOP primary candidate] and totally want to go steady with him, you just were too busy and forgot to get the Valentine’s chocolates/card/Super PAC you meant to. Now all you can imagine is him sitting at home alone chugging caviar-covered Haagen Daaz (or whatever rich people eat), sobbing bitterly and ruminating on those sad, sad Elementary years when Joanie McAmerica would pass them by for the older, cooler candidates.… [Read more]