GOP: Bring Out Your Dead.

“I’m not dead yet!” – Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Perhaps I should be tiring of this country’s endless campaigns. As a political columnist, it does mean the well never runs dry for source material.

Ex-Sen. and flopped wannabe Presidential candidate Rick Santorum (R-Opus DUH!) appeared on Meet the Press yesterday, “Rooster” Santorum, as his Penn State frat dubbed him, is the hapless, Not-Ready-For-Prime-Time performer who somehow escapes the reach of the old Vaudeville hooked cane.… [Read more]

Pass the ‘Fiscal Conservative’ Grey Poupon

As a political writer, my antennae always quiver to pick up blatant hypocrisy in elected politicians. The “do as I say, not as I do” mob on Capitol Hill never fails to provide madcap manna. Often, the quirky quarry are found in the oddest places.

Congress looks like America, or at least like the Hamptons on Long Island as far as wealth goes, with more multimillionaires to shake a ‘Murrican Exceptionalism stick at.… [Read more]

Ask Mrs. Vera: Is it possible that Americans have come to think well of George W. Bush?

Dear Mrs. Vera,

A recent poll reveals that for the first time since 2005, more Americans have a favorable view of George W. Bush than an unfavorable view. How is this possible?

Regards, Dwight D. Eisenhower, dec’d.

Dear Dirty “I Is In The Shower”,

You are very naughty, indeed, if you think Mrs. Vera will be so easily fooled by such a transparent letter just because I answered a dead man’s question last week.… [Read more]

Bye, Bye Bachmann

Sometimes insomnia is a bane for political columnists. At other times, though, it’s a blessing. Of course, not being Rush Limbaugh or Glenn Beck, I did have to carefully check to see if breaking wee hours news that Tea Party doyenne Rep. Michele “Fact-Free Diet” Bachmann (R-Minn.)’s local video announcement that she would not be seeking a fifth term in Congress did not have a byline from The Onion, Daily Currant, or a late night comedy writer.… [Read more]

I.R.S.: Just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.

The taxman is the Rodney “No Respect” Dangerfield of government employees. The latest hubbub over alleged Internal Revenue Service “targeting” of government-critical conservative groups is the latest ‘Tempest in a Teapot’ only Congressional Republicans could wail about. You’d think the President dug up ole Geo. Washington’s sacred bones and used them for White House Halloween decorations.… [Read more]

Washington Stitches

One has to have a sense of humor to be President of the United States. We saw with Tricky Dick Nixon how anger becomes paranoia, and “All The President’s Men” turned  into a gaggle of bumbling cat burglars out of the Marx Brothers or the Three Stooges. Has-been conservative firebrand G. Gordon Liddy probably has an understandable aversion to dining off metal trays from his inmate years.… [Read more]

CPAC 2013: ‘Crazy birds’ Flock

“If standing for the Constitution, standing for liberty, standing for conservative values makes one a wacko bird … then I am pleased that birds of a feather flock together.”  – Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Little Havana)

Viewed as a 2016 rising star, the freshman senator from Florida accomplished in one short speech, calling liberals “freeloaders,” what unsuccessful 2012 Presidential wannabe Mitt “Mitt WHO?” Romney (R-Bain) labored several years to get ineptly caught at with his infamous “47%” secretly videotaped, campaign scuttling, fundraiser remark.… [Read more]

Planning Underway for Retiring Pope’s New Residence

The Vatican announced that Pope Benedict XVI, who will abdicate the Papacy on Feb. 28, will not move into the Blessed Sisters of the Poor Convent as first planned. (Mother Superior said his presence would be a distraction and he’s been Pope — who’s gonna tell him to put the toilet seat back down?)

So, a special habitat will be devised for the Supreme Head of the Holy Roman Catholic Church (soon to be known as Mr.… [Read more]

The Fallacy of ‘Gun Appreciation Day’

Times and nations change. It’s 2013, not 1776. We don’t have bands of ‘angry Indians’ cresting the hill with feathers, war paint, and bows and arrows, wanting their land back. We broke our treaties and screwed them a couple of centuries back. The South will not “rise again” to get America back for the so-called “War of Northern Aggression.”  We’re still free.… [Read more]

A Cabinet that ‘Looks Like America.’

President Obama promised in the 2008 campaign to appoint more women to cabinet positions in his administration. His Cabinet and below, did increase opportunities for women in government, and “look more like America.” In his second term, did he leave that promise behind?  Not so fast, ye buckos.

Embattled longtime Rep. Charlie Rangel (D-N.Y.), might have been short of a dose of Geritol or two when he lambasted the President with a Bronx cheer on the lack of cabinet-level diversity.… [Read more]